For my next car I want something practical like a limousine. That way when I’m on the road the screams of young people won’t seem so out of place.
One of my fellow bloggers wrote a concise article and I was obliged to agree. I feel that empathy and sympathy are not the same and I have explained the 2 until I am blue in the face. People need to understand that you need empathy in life; it is a valuable and essential trait to have.
Source: Understanding Empathy
And here is another riveting edition of the dramedy that some would call my life, LOL. I call it an action drama! I find it jam packed full of action and comedy. I do not find much on the front of drama but I I’m not sure they have a catchy name for action and comedy yet!
Anyways, if you have been following my blog you know I struggle with Myasthenia Gravis (MG) an autoimmune and neuromuscular condition. If you are new to the blog…Welcome, LOL. It It weakens me at times but it doesn’t stop me and herein lies the problem sometimes, LOL. Sometimes I underestimate what I can do because I believe I can do more than I can or I push harder than I should. I am so used to being super strong because I work in a profession that has embodied such and I will not falter in that thinking that I forget that I will have weak moments physically, LOL. (I’m a Sr. Health Fitness Specialist and I have degrees in psychology as well).
- So when you decide that you are going to go shopping and until you drop and you actually DROP… WELL all you can do is laugh in the irony! At least I do!
- Or when you decide I have worked out and your muscles are nice and sore (because I love that feeling) and you go to foam roll and you can barely lift your body onto the roller and then get up and stagger like your favorite scene out of NAT GEO WILD and die laughing but no one else knows why you are laughing…
- OR the final moment of FUNNY… you go to do your hair and your arm gets tired and you refuse to rest because you are almost done and you know you can fight the fatigue and have one pin left to do and WHAM you arm drops and slaps you right in the face! A true slap of reality that all you can do is laugh until you cry real tears doubling over until your belly hurts. (I could not even get the words out to my husband of what happened because I was laughing so hard)
Though these things improve with rest and treatment, some people ask me how I could laugh! I say I have a great sense of humor and I know that God will be there to catch me. I also say I am still alive and it could always be worse. I have been worse and I know that this is just me being stubborn and silly! I prefer to laugh as I have always done in life because laughing is better than and in the end if I can laugh, it means that I can heal faster! I really and honestly felt the laughter in those moments, it wasn’t forced, and people may say I was sick for the thoughts in my head at those times, but it is what helps me get through my life, why focus on the bad all the time? I prefer not to be a sourpuss all the time!
FIND YOUR FUNNY!
I look at crying as the laundromat for the soul. Though I do not do it often when I do I feel it cleanses you and your spirit sometimes and allows you the ability to start fresh and move forward without need to explain or even say what the issue was that was plaguing you. In some ways I feel that blogging can now be that for me as well. I have found many outlets in my life that have dried up my tears and prevented me from being so overly sensitive. I went through a strange period (most of us call it being a teen) where I cried often), then as I broke out of that I was not sure how to vent and yelled often. Then I had to learn how to find positive ways to vent. I wrote in a journal.
My sister gave me this purple binder and I scribbled all over it and put stickers from my college homecoming freebie bag on it. There are a lot of m.t.v. things on it funny enough that make me feel super old now. She also gave me notebook paper that was purple and said ‘boys are stupid, throw rocks at them!’ with little boy running on each page with rocks whizzing behind him squarely in the center. It’s part of a the davidandgoliath.com collection. I love their stuff now. I’m not a fan of purple but it was the thought that counted. I actually started writing in the book often at first and always when I had a really great encounter or really bad encounter. When I read it now it reads like an absolutely bipolar individual. My therapist was concerned for a while until she realized that there were huge gaps in time, lol. Though there are plenty of blank pages now that I can write in even now I still cannot bring myself to write my new life in it unless I buy new pages with a different color as it would need to symbolize a different chapter in my life now.
I also do not like to write as much now because the repetitive fine motor movement is an issue for my MG and causes muscular issues for days to come. I would rather have movement of my hand and fingers, even though I do miss writing. But I tend to write pages at a time in my journal. Now I find solace in blogging, looking at other’s travels and trying recipes, and hearing your stories. I also love reading, gaming, and crafting! Plus I am finding a whole new world of things to do from blogging with the man I married that is making being married more fun that I even I could have imagined, I don’t get me wrong I imagined quite a fun time of it. I have wanted to be married since I could remember and not fairytale wedding or anything like that just what I had seen from the great examples in my family. My great grandparents were married 69 years before my great grandmother passed and my parents have been married 42 years and they are hilarious! I realize that I am more like them everyday with a twist! I enjoy knowing that!
How do you clean your soul?
MG is a true give and take relationship sometimes. You have to compromise with it. Sometimes you have to say I cannot do this activity right now today so that I can have energy/ strength for later. However, this sometimes spills over to other activities too like the spirits (drinking for my younger readers, lol). I do not drink as much as I use to but I still like to enjoy the occasional drink and they suggest that I do not drink at all with this disorder. When I say that I do not drink but once a month they assume I do not drink at all during my doctor’s visits on my charts, lol. Apparently, if it’s less than once a week that’s how it shows up in their system and I have to explain when I ask questions about drinking because it seems like I lied on the intake forms.
When I do drink I have to be a bit more careful than just regular drinkers. I take the normal drinker’s precautions: no drinking and driving, and being around people I know and trust of course, I am responsible (most of the time, hey I’m 30, lol). I’m not dead!!! But alcohol affects me differently because of the medications I am on and the disorder. I am affected for several days later and not just because alcohol normally does that to your cognition and health. My symptoms are a bit flared. I tend to have more slurring, drooping eyelids, and swallowing issues, and generalized weakness even if I was really strong for a few days after all the alcohol is out of my system. Yes, MG is like being drunk 24/7 in other words, but you don’t get the loopy cognitive affects that may feel mellow, lol. I usually feel anxious because I am worried about how long this is going to last if I have had too much. My tolerance had dropped tremendously from what it use to be. Though I know one should not always commend themselves on being able to drink grown men under a table, I could do this often until recently.
Sometimes I plan heavier drinking weekends like my birthday weekend near a treatment time so I can let loose, bad I know but worth it sometimes (it only comes once a year). Now I play it safe and just have fun outtings. I have nothing to prove and I can still drink, I just take it much easier on both my liver and my MG, LOL.
SO as I said in my previous post Ripping off the Band Aid I will give it 2 months before I make any rash decisions on what to do about my hair situation. I will try the hair products suggested by my friend who has been doing my hair for so long and I will make a dermatologist appointment and try whatever methods they suggest. I have also tried a low maintenance solution in the meantime that is taking some getting use to for me because I am just not use to all the ins and outs of the world of hair that does not grow naturally out of your hair.
When you go into a hair store there is so much in there to overwhelm you. There are products for black people and white people, but not many for mixed hair. I struggle often because people say you are black. I say that may be true, but my hair does not know that! I have so many things in my family and my grandmother on my dad’s side really is predominantly Native American. It’s amazing the looks I get when I walk with her and then I saw that’s my grandmother, lol because many black people often say I have Indian in my family but I really have quite a bit in many aspects not just with my dad’s side either. My mom’s side has it as well but at My great great grandparent’s level.
SO needless to say when I have gone into hair stores over the years with friends they (the store associates) have assumed it was not for me. But I have been intrigued asking what things were and why. My friends have always picked on and laughed saying I would not understand their struggle and I did not but now I kind of do. However, it took illness to understand it. Even now though it’s a struggle on a different level because the products are made for one ethnicity or another not a middle ground. SO they have to almost ‘change’ the texture of my hair to make things work sometimes. They have to tease it or out extra holding spray or add wraps where they would not for normal hair and then apply solutions. I almost never go alone to the beauty supply/hair store unless I already know what I need which usually requires long amounts of time pouring over it online doing research first or talking with friends because I am so use to wash and go for so long. I have always had very easy low maintenance hair. This situation is very frustrating, but I know I can do it and I pray that some positive results come of it so that I can relax and learn something new about hair, lol.
This is a GREAT REMINDER by a fellow Blogger! Please read!
For all of God’s promises have been fulfilled in Christ with a resounding “Yes!” And through Christ, our “Amen” (which means “Yes”) ascends to God for his glory. (2 Corinthians 1:20)
Relate: Depending on who is counting there is roughly three thousand to thirty-five hundred promises made by God in the Bible. Granted, many of them are situational, person specific, and time limited, but that is a minority. Even if more than half were to fall into one of these categories, we have well over a thousand remaining. A significant number of God’s promises are “If… then…” promises. For example, IF we keep our mind focused on Him THEN God has promised to give us perfect peace. (Isaiah 26:3) Some might complain that all of these are conditional. Well duh. I for one am glad. I…
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There are times that we feel most confident and then there are times that we are at our most vulnerable and sometimes for the silliest moments of doubt and we pray no one saw us jump at our shadow! I have to admit I have been having a few of these moments lately. Not the I have been watching scary movies and you walked up behind me and scared me to the moon and back moment but the did I see something peeking from around the corner of that wall just a second ago moment…(and more importantly did you see it too).
We all want to validated in these moments and then we feel better. However, when we are not we feel even more vulnerable, or dare I say off kilter. The worry comes from a bit of anxiety of past issues and not really trusting if I am getting better with my MG, my tracheal stenosis, and with my anemia, among other things. I start to wonder if these things are coming back when in fact they usually are not it is just stress playing tricks on my mind or causing me to have a slight exacerbated symptom for a short period and giving the illusion of such. For example, MG causes breathing or swallowing difficulties as it is so it can e hard to know if I am having an issue with tracheal stenosis or narrowing of the windpipe at that time which I had surgery to fix. I get nervous wondering if it was actually fixed. However, when I am calm my rational mind says, you have not had any real problems like before and you have been able to breathe just fine. It is like just your MG having a bit of a flare with stress and you have an appointment for your follow-up for the tracheal surgery next week so RELAX. But that is easier said than done, lol. But I have to have these little talks to help myself. I have to pray often. But sometimes I feel as though there is something creepy lurking around that corner just in my peripheral and I wonder if anyone else saw it! I just want someone else to say yeah, but then when it’s nothing I’m like you didn’t see anything so why did you say yes? LOL (but secretly I’m glad that they were on my side sometimes, hehehe! Luckily I know who to go to for the real truth and the bandwagon truth.
SO a recent creation was a no bake Peanut Butter Pie.
I can only Show the remaining 1/2 because my husband dug in before I told him about the new blog as I turned my back to grab the phone so I said well I might as well grab my self as slice and before we knew it 1/2 the pie was gone before I remembered THE BLOG! LOL.
Crust (if you don’t want slave a store bought graham cracker crust or oreo crust works too)
10oz crumbled graham crackers
1/4 cup sugar
1 cup melted butter
Press into a pie dish and refrigerate
3/4 cup creamy peanut butter
4 oz cream cheese
8 oz whipped topping
1 cup powdered sugar
mix until smooth and consistent
Scoop into your pie and spread evenly and put into the fridge for 1-2 hours.
whipped cream and fresh bananas were perfect with this treat or vanilla wafers ( we did eacch slice differently because we couldn’t decide on a united topping AH Marriage!
**if you are like me and enjoy a pie that fills the entire pie shell up to the rim add 2 more ounces of cream cheese, 2-4 more ounces of peanut butter, 1/4 cup powdered sugar, about 2 more ounces of whipped topping. However, this may mean your pie needs to set in the fridge longer to be more firm but if you are like me as long as it tastes great it won’t matter.