Learned Helplessness

Learned Helplessness

When I was getting my first masters in psychology I learned about a term called learned helplessness. Learned helplessness is defined as a behaviour in which an organism forced to endure aversive, painful or otherwise unpleasant stimuli, becomes unable or unwilling to avoid subsequent encounters with those stimuli, even if they are escapable. In other words, after dealing with many bad or negative circumstances the person will continue to stay in the situation or will not try to escape/ avoid such situations and continue to encounter such situations in a cyclic nature because they have learned to do so. People enable them in some way and they find that this will work for them.

I am glad to say I was able to break this mentality and with the help of my great aunt and uncle whom I call my mom and dad. They help me fight this issue and when I developed MG it was not and issue for me. However, I cannot say that for some people that I know.

I have seen this first hand by some relatives and friends. Many people have seen this phenomenon and not realized it. When you see a person who has a victim mentality and believes that everything happens to them (and though it may actually be happening to them, it’s because they are allowing it to happen and refuse to change the situation). You have met the person who is the woe is me the world hates me and I never get anything I want person. Yet they are also the person who spends their money on frivolous things (going to the club, a new boyfriend or girlfriend, a habit, eating out, etc) instead of paying their bills first and then deciding to spend money the remaining money on what they wanted.Then whines later how they have no money and asks you for money and when you ask what happened (as if you do not know they) want you to feel sorry for them.

These people can drain you! They can be known to manipulate your emotions and even fake disorders just to get attention so that they can continue being the victim and feed off that desire to gain attention and love. They can find themselves in bad relationships that can be abusive trying to seek such love. These people feel that have no control over their situations but the actuality is that they do and they have to find confidence. Unfortunately, as the word suggests it learned, which means they usually learned this from observation from another person. It has been my experience and research that in many cases it has been from a parent generation to generation sadly. Parent to child for example poverty (single-family home, divorce, teaching bad habits about money, drugs, etc).

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