Ripping Off The Band-Aid…Here Comes The RAW Emotions

1-20-2015 317 -my hair last year at this time 1-20-2015 242-my hair in its natural state (same length just curly)

Last night I cried…i allowed myself to just let the tears flow, not like a blubbering mess but just flow. I also allowed my husband try and comfort me which I have only allowed a handful of times since knowing him as I usually prefer the comfort of myself or females, lol. Anyways, I cried because that morning I looked in the mirror and my hair was nearly gone after straightening once I took out braids that had been in for a long time.

With MG I sometimes have trouble doing my daily rituals because of time or strength issues so I have to pick quick easy tools to help me.I got my hair put into braids because doing my hair puts a strain on my fine motor skills that needs to be saved for typing for work, brushing my teeth, and going to the loo (at work, since I have a bidet at home and other tools) and carrying many heavy items in a fitness and wellness capacity at work.

Well I did the braids too many times back to back between that,the MG, and stress, I have very super long strands,and very shorts, and well I look butchered. When I went to work I did not have time to think much about it. I made the best of it saying I want to cry but who has time and made a hair style I figured I could get away with yesterday. But by the end of the day I was so exhausted fidgeting with the hairband that kept falling off and the bun that could not hold b/c my hair was so thin that when I walked in the door and my husband asked how my day was I said, “my migraine has come back, my anxiety is up because I missed my workout and I have no hair” and began to cry! The worst part of him consoling me was and usually is, he is not always sure what to say. He sat me down and offered me water, and wished he could hit the lottery to find a cure or an awesome weave. I said I simply wanted my hair back. My hair is longer the parts that grew but it is not healthy. He sat with me and rub my head and my hands and had his head bowed. He looked as if he was blinking back tears himself which made it hard because I could tell it hurt him to see me so hopeless because I am always to strong and ready to come up with the next idea! After a few more moments of that and no real solution we decided on dinner and just watched television and talked. Then I set up the idock and we listened to my nature sounds so that I could hear a good thunderstorm last night.

However, I did buy some hair products (Sunday) and I will give it about 2 months. This was for my temples before I straightened my hair because I saw that my hair was thinning there first before I could see all the other damage. If I feel I see no improvement I will be cutting it because my hair usually bounces back fast from anything and though I have this disorder I cannot keep holding to ‘past’ if its not going to work. I will also try going to the dermatologist as well. But that is hard between all my routine dr. visits without taking off work. I have a dr. visit as it is about 1 a week if not 2-3 times a week. Pray for me because I definitely a ball of emotions, though we should not ‘be our hair’ we as people are attached to our hair. Men can say they are not until they begin to bald and hold on to it while it recedes into horrid shapes, but we all know the truth we love the hair we have nurtured most of our lives. Therefore, until we decide on our on accord to cut it, or style it a certain way we a most definitely hurt when things like this happens. I’m totally praying for peace!

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11 comments

  1. E. English · August 25, 2015

    You are not your hair! 🙂 I know saying that may not help much because your hair is part of your being in some sense, but I’m sure you will find a way to rock it butchered or not. In light of finding a cure. . . I’m in the process of learning more and more about holistic medicines and natural cure have you look into those?

    Liked by 1 person

    • ladycamecu · August 25, 2015

      I am! I try things like that first I do not believe in doing the meds route first so I like natural methods first! The products I bought are natural things like sunflower oil coconut oils and the like that were used on my hair when I was younger but I stopped using as I was older because the texture changed so much and became naturally oily. Now it’s not so I can try it again. Along with some vitamins!

      Liked by 1 person

      • E. English · August 25, 2015

        Great! I’m wishing you the best of luck with everything. You and your blog are really inspirational. I pray your love for blogging has years of longevity ☺♥

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Heather · August 25, 2015

    Please forgive me if I am saying something bad here. You have a beautiful face. And what seems like a beautiful spirit. What if you took your sadness and frustration, directed it to your hair and just cut it all away. Kind of like excising “demons”?

    Liked by 2 people

    • ladycamecu · August 25, 2015

      I thought about it! Just wasn’t sure what bumps and lumps were under there as it didn’t feel too round under there, LMBO. Honestly though I am giving it 2 months and that seems like my next step! BTW you said nothing wrong and I appreciate your comment and your compliment!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Hairy Situations…An Update and WONDER | Myasthenia Gravis
  4. Angie Mc · August 28, 2015

    I have cried over similar sufferings. Really I have. Life is full of sufferings, as I can see you know. Some are huge, some are small, but they are all mine. Sometimes something relatively small will act as the last straw, pushing me into a puddle of tears (however rare.) Besides, I like when my hair is lovely, which is becoming harder and harder to hold onto as I age ❤

    Liked by 2 people

    • ladycamecu · August 28, 2015

      I agree!

      Liked by 1 person

    • ladycamecu · August 28, 2015

      This is true. A good cry is like a the laundry mat for our soul and then sometimes we see the light and the solutions come in and we feel better. Or we just deal and push forward. Either way life keeps going and we figure out how to RIDE it!

      Liked by 1 person

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