Eye Of The Storm Kind Of Day?

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Have you ever had a day where everything around you seemed eerily chaotic and messy and you even were not 100% but felt strangely at peace suddenly? Well that’s the sort of day I am having. Don’t get me wrong I instantly Thanked God when I felt this moment of peace because feeling peace for me with my anxiety is rare. But to feel it when I know I have to prepare for THE battle of cleaning in my house, which I hate doing, and a pivotal doctor’s appointment, and having a strange sinus/head cold that I thought went away but didn’t (ish) IDK. I was just sitting there and I guess I was hearing from God that it will all work itself out. So I will trust that this is the case and pick my battles and try not to worry or stress over it.

I know the only result of doing that for me will cause increased symptoms of my MG to flare such as double vision or slurred speech or swallowing issues if I get upset enough so I will just relax and try to stay centered and focused. I will take today as A sign and slowly get everything done as I planned and if it all gets done today then I will just be uber excited and I can truly be happy.

Day 18 of the #loveme challenge…Some that feeds my brain

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Something that feeds my brain is books and research. I love to read and and do research. But books open a new land to me and I learn that no matter if it is fiction or not non fiction they talk about places I have never been or people I have never seen and events that are quite real to some extent and I go to the internet and begin to research these places. I then become intrigued by them. I have read so many books that were set in London it is not funny. I feel like if I go there I should know everything about the place, LOL. It usually has a lot to do with the author you like to read and I went through a Harry Potter phase and then I read other books by JK Rowling also known as Robert Galbraith. I also read books set in Sweden which is fun and teaches me quite a bit about the culture there as well. And above all MANY books about Asian culture directly and indirectly through my novels and such. These things make me feel so connected to the world in addition to my blog and my friends. I enjoy it! I love to learn!

Sex and Your Inhibitions Part 3…The Closing

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Today we will talk about about sex and the application of your kink! I know this may be a scary for some of you and a very taboo still for many of you and that is fine. I’m okay if you have to tune me out. I am not going to get all 50 shades on you, I will save that for you to imagine and create for you and your partner if you so desire.

My goal today is to help you decide what is your kink and how to apply it. Some of you may say that is too personal how on cowgirl! But just listen..Your ‘kink’ is whatever makes you smitten with your lover and give you the connection that causes a spark. This is a spark that may not always be so sexual in nature but ignites the very urge that begins the act. Such as coming home and not having one lick of energy left you both have been stretch to the max, kids have been extremely trying, and when you get them to bed you don’t even want to look at each other. Just then he has gone and washed all the dishes and you have found him strangely irresistible in your vinyl dish gloves in the kitchen. This may be your kink. Him initiating domestic work without you asking, it makes him look sexy. You had no idea this turned you on. Again women usually speak in terms of desire that helps them feel comfortable and appreciated…Remember this! If they feel happy the are more approachable and at ease to offer and reciprocate!

Another example, for my men. Let’s try football season, you want the guys to come over for the big game. You know you wife doesn’t usually mind and is even known to root for a team here and there while hosting but the yard work outside has become unruly. Instead of nagging she tries to go outside and tackle it herself. You come outside a few hours before the game and she is covered in sweat, oil, and dirt from trying to start the lawn mower. You give and laugh and realize she has never looked sexier. It was endearing to see that she was willing to struggle without asking for help just to make the day special for you.

Here is my last KINK and this is a great one. The rested KINK. You want to be kinky because you just want to change it up. We all have desires. We all want to try something different sometimes and it can be hard to communicate where these desires and fantasies come from. We watch a lot of television and hear a lot of stories and think boy I wish that were me and until it is actually us we do not know if we will like it or not. So try it, role play and enjoy it. There are plenty of healthy way to buy things online and have it discreetly sent to your home for you and your lover to play with and the reviews online tell you what level they are (amateur to expert) and how to work you way up. Talk to you lover about their hard limits; what they are absolutely not willing to do. Then that means everything else is open for discussion or experimentation. Life is too short to be frustrated, muted, or live in a world of TABOOS!

Day 17 of the #loveme Challenge

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One of the oldest things that feed my soul would have to be music! I am a huge music lover. I sing, play several different instruments including clarinet, xylophone, and some piano, and I write music. I also learned how to actually compose music as well when in high school but I am very much  beginner at that. Music ignites my soul though. It calms me when I am at my breaking point and it fuels me when I need that extra bit to get through my day. It is always changing and never ceases to amaze me and I can listen to some songs on repeat all day long. I love all types of music from classical to rock; from country to grundge, I listen to it all. I listen to some rap but I am not really a fan of hard core rap. I cannot alway rap my mind around the severe cursing but I can enjo the beats. Even when I do not always like a song I can usually still find something about it I like. However, I usually prefer to listen to it on me of my devices so that I can manipulate the different aspects so if I don’t like the words so much I can turn down the treble and and not and turn up the bass and or increase the speed and so on. I enjoy this stuff. I could go on and on but the bottom line is music burns deep within me. It holds a special place in my heart and has healing powers for me. It reduces my anxiety and when I am struggling with my MG it helps me to relax, focus, and helps me control my symptoms.

Sex and Your Inhibitions Part 2

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So as promised today we will talk about ‘your flavors’ and the language of sex and love…

Lets start with the really fun stuff…the flavors of sex

We all have different flavors

The flavors of sex refers to your style and presence in the bedroom with your partner. How to you say come hither and turn on your partner? Do you like plain old Vanilla sex? That’s the not so kinky, no toys, no add-ons just plain old 1:1 love with your partner! I still find this pretty kinky if you have the right party if they love positions…Karma Sutra is pretty fun and intimate yet many states and countries look at you as if you ave grown 2 heads for even mentioning such a thing. Yet you have many people who HAVE to try other positions for conception purposes or comfort needs due to their partner’s size. If you were the good Christian and waited until marriage and got to your wedding night and found that your partner had a pretty small or large member you have to accommodate that with special positions that sometimes missionary cannot satisfy you both. Not to mention gets pretty durn boring. Sometimes your partner has other conditions warranting special accommodations so you cannot dismiss why people need these more intimate or in your mind wild positions.

The same goes for the not so vanilla sex. Yes people, there are those who greatly enjoy toys, bondage, and other people in the bedroom. Toys does not always mean huge flying dildos! They can simply mean food, feathers, or small vibrating items. Bondage can simply mean scarves, ties, blindfolds, and yes progress to more extravagant things. As far as other people in the bedroom, this can be more tricky and is something that must be agreed on by all parties and takes a truly mature group. It is not always like you see in movies or ideas of swingers’ clubs or drunken teenage frat college days.

It’s all about perception and your mindfulness. Know your flavor and your desire and talk about it with your partner. If you are adult enough to have sex then you should be adult enough to have such discussions! Do you have an closed relationship, semi-open relationship, or completely open relationship? Know your boundaries!

NOW let’s talk about the language of LOVE

We all speak about sex and love and intimacy differently! You read books about relationships all the time trying to decipher what men are thinking and what women are thinking! But it’s not always as hard as you are making it out to be. I know that again is easier put in writing than when it is actually happening!

First before I begin saying anything about what type of person you may be let’s talk about how men and women respond to each other! Men will say exactly what they mean in most cases but tend to struggle with emotional expression. Women tend to internalize things and hope that men will read our emotions. Sadly both sexes have been taught this behavior. Men have been taught that emotion is weak while women have been taught that they should be emotional and not tell men what to do. So the dilemma is that women are frustrated because they cannot always tell me what they want and expect them to figure out why they feel the way they do. Not to mention if they were bold enough to say something once that men should figure out they are still feeling emotional about it later.

However, men do no process or think in this way. They handle the situation right then and there. They do not dwell on things unless you do and only to try to figure out why you are feeling this way because they are at a loss. They are not mind readers. They have NO CLUE why you are feeling this way. You assume they do and so you go about huffing and puffing and they are trying to satiate you but doing little things and you think they are doing this because they know, but they are doing it because they think they are in trouble and they just want you to stop or be happy. They hope they are fixing the problem, but are clueless. So put them out of their misery and be a MODERN adult and tell them!

Men I an not going to say you have to change your whole code and become a pile of mush but telling your partner here and there she looks nice if she does and doing something special FOR HER sometimes will go a VERY long way. No matter how small. I promise.

LANGUAGES OF LOVE

We all speak different languages. some of us are givers, takers, talkers, touchy feely, or just prefer to spend time. These equate to the languages of love. People tend to experience love through gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service (devotion), and physical touch (intimacy). Some people only know how to express love in one way by giving gifts or by spending quality time, or by telling someone how much they love them and complimenting the all the time and the so on. Some people have more than one language. However, we all have one dominant way even if we have several or possess all 5 languages naturally.

Your language may directly connect with your level of sex!!! If you are a giver but he is not giving you the opportunity to do so in bedroom is this causing a problem? Do you feel muted because you need toys, warming gels, or some form of ‘kink’ you feel to help you feel you are ‘giving’ in the bedroom and he is shutting this down?

The same could be said f the male in the bedroom who may be a taker and use to getting often and she is not but she is a physical touch person. He may be have his signals crossed. He may not understand that intimacy is not always sex. They may be able to find common ground with proper communication.

Communication is the key with all of this! More to come tomorrow where I will talk about sex and the application of your kink!

Day 16 of the #loveme challenge…something you like about yourself

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So today I am suppose to share something I like about myself. I like that I am still so resilient! Some people call it being strong but I say that I am not strong. I break down, I cry, I am afraid at times but I am always able to bounce back and put on a brave face and keep pushing forward and try again. I am able to tough it out. I am able to move past things and be the bigger person even when I really want to get down and dirty and raw and pull out the big guns and rock someone to their core…I have learned I can better do this by being resilient because my kindness and happiness will probably bother them more because they will see that they were not able to phase me. At least that was what they are outwardly seeing, even if I am inwardly seething! It’s all about perception and keeping your composure. I pray and meditate to do this! God shows us how to stay resilient and rewards us for it! He gives us these trials and tribulations to see if we are worthy for the blessings that we are already destined to receive should we pass the test.

#MyastheniaGravis and #Empire

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Well It’s here, the Fox’s new season of Empire. For those of you who don’t know what it is, it’s a new television show that is about a urban family that made ‘OWNS’ the music business in a sense but how they got there is very dubious much like many empire are built. One of the lead characters Lucious Lyon happens to be one of the shadiest characters. At the end of season one they find that they misdiagnosed the man and find that he is not going to die from one disorder and that he in fact has a rare disorder called Myasthenia Gravis. Many of you have not heard of this. I happen to have this disorder. I was extremely excited that they made a show that has such popularity here in this country aware of the condition.

However, since establishing that this is the condition that he has I was hoping that there would be more about it. I know that there has only been one episode into the new season. But I hope that they show an actual treatment. He has money so I hope maybe they show him going to Europe and getting treatment with the Amicus-Fenwal plasma exchange machines as we only have one here in the U.S. because they are so expensive and still trying to get FDA approval for other treatments. He is rich and could show that he could do anything and so forth…(Just hypothetical instances) Or even showing a regular treatment with the regular COBE machines and COM.TEC. People need to see the realism behind this disorder. Moreover, if they hear it more than once they will continue to put it in their search engines and give to charities and foundations and understand the gravity of the illness and what it is. Many people have never heard of the disorder. Until I was diagnosed I had not either. People are easily misdiagnosed with other conditions, I was one of the ‘lucky’ one who had nearly every symptom right away and was diagnosed within 5 weeks. But in hindsight may have shown signs off and on for nearly 2 years in very subtle ways where I was treated for something with physical therapy or or self-therapy (because I am a wellness professional) and put/ went on my way.

I will say though I love the show and it still has me hooked and my husband who jumped on just at the season finale last season, I hope for just that extra bit of insight. I feel that they they started this season 3 months further into along and surely they have given him medications and so forth and we as the audience should know what those are? I would like to know his status…I am sure people who had never heard about this show are now tuning in to find out if they are going to do the disorder any justice! We can only hope!

Sex and Your Inhibitions Part 1

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Let’s be honest with yourself…the whole reason you clicked on this and not just hit the like button is because you saw the word SEX. I would too. Your curiosity got the best of you. You wanted to know what I would say about it. Well here it is. Why is it taboo? Why are we not talking about it? Some countries find sex to be so taboo that they refuse to acknowledge it’s existence. They do not talk about it with their children and leave it to their school systems to discuss with ‘the talk’ and biology and such. The down side is then you get parents who are upset when the school oversteps their boundaries and says too much or does not say enough.

Moreover, you get children who are traumatized by what they learn, LOL. Old videos that are out dated with technology and equipment that today’s children would never use but due to children’s ignorance they are traumatized about what is readily available and current. I sat in a classroom that showed a video from the 80’s/90’s and since then the size and types of birth control have changed. Moreover, the video also showed some of the largest feminine products I had seen EVER, LOL. Not like the discreet ones we have now.

Then there come the actual act of sex…I was asked by my friend who is a teacher how I would change the videos to make sex look less like a porno and more like an educational video but still be images (1)something for school. I said well… Sex is natural and it is what it is! At this day and age most children have already seen some movie with sex in it. So you are the only one holding them back pretending that you are protecting them. You should handle it as if they can be mature and explain it in mature terms. It should still outline the body in the biology format similar to what you see on the left. This would remind them that this is still a learning experience. To prevent people from being confused as to what really happens. I knew people in school who were confused where certain male parts were inserted into the female sadly. I also knew people who had no idea what foreplay was and why it was important and the system of arousal. These things are important. I taught sex education for adults and you would be surprised at how many questions I got from them concerning why this was important. Men were very interested as well. I taught all women groups, all men groups, and couples. I also have a masters in psychology and I had to do a bit of counseling but that always goes with debunking myths and fixing what is going on.

I find the funniest part is when people feel embarrassed about asking questions and letting go of their inhibitions to do what THEY WANT! They have desires and feel unfulfilled sexually and have healthy desires but because society tells them that they are deviants for doing anything besides missionary they feel criminal in nature. So they come to be heads bowed like in a confessional. They confide in me about their desires and my response is usually the same; you are both consenting adults and therefore what you do in the privacy of your relationship is your business (as sometimes it is not always just between 2 people or in just their home, LOL). I know we all have our own preferences and flavors of sex and by no means am I asking you to be accepting or understanding of all types but what I am saying to you is be open to the fact that we all have desires and to shun someone for their style simply because it is not your own is not fair. Shaming someone because you do not like it, understand it, or, do it only stigmatizes people from sex which is natural, fun, intimate, and a growing experience for a relationship. Tomorrow will talk about ‘your flavors’ and the language of sex and love…

Tahini Chicken

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So last night I finally made some Tahini Chicken! It was amazing. I’m not good with taking pictures though. In hindsight I should have taken a picture of it in the pot as it looked better to me that way. However, my husband took a picture of it in his bowl before he began eating this time instead of our last 1/2 eaten pie picture, LOL. It has a Mediterranean and Asian fusion to it! It’s awesome! We will be making it again!

Ingredients

Directions

  • Prep

    10 m

  • Cook

    10 m

  • Ready In

    20 m

  1. Bring water and bouillon cube to a boil in a pot until bouillon is dissolved; decrease heat to low. Whisk tahini, soy sauce, honey, garlic, and ginger into bouillon mixture until smooth. Keep sauce warm over low heat.
  2. Heat butter in a skillet over medium heat; cook and stir chicken until no longer pink in the center, 5 to 10 minutes.
  3. Whisk flour into tahini sauce until thickened, 2 to 3 minutes. Add cooked chicken to tahini sauce and toss to coat.

**I like to double all the sauce ingredients because I always have more chicken and I love to have more sauce for my rice (but what is listed above is enough for one serving).

To Be or Not to Be…Actually Just DO IT!

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I have several philosophies in life and may of them deal with being a good person and following the path less trodden! However, recently I have noticed a few things that have bothered me and I wanted to talk about it! If you have to think or decide to be NICE! then maybe you are not a nice person or it is something you should be working on…Thinking about it! If you have to say should I do this nice thing? We all have to decide to do nice things at times and it does not mean we re mean or evil, especially if someone just did something rude or mean to us; however. if you find that ever chance you get you are contemplating the nice or right thing, there may be a problem!

I am not saying put yourself in a dilemma by any means but don’t over think being nice! It should not always be a life or death decision! It should start becoming second nature for you. Example, you are in traffic and a car wants to squeeze in from a side street. I would automatically let them, but would you? Would you just ignore them? Would you only let them in if you were already stopped, would you only let them in if the car beside you stopped? What would make you let them squeeze in? Obviously I’m not saying slam on brakes and let this person in if traffic is in full speed but if you are in wall to wall traffic you likely are not going anywhere anytime soon…so why are you so pressed not to let this person in as if one more car is really going to make THAT much of a difference? If it were you that was trying to squeeze in you would be very annoyed that no one would let you in? So I implore you to think along those lines praying that there were more people who are acting nice/kind as second nature versus those who have to think about it!

People who have to think about it…well they are/ may be working on it to get to this point. This may be a goal for them. This is a step in the right direction. I am glad for those who are transitioning. It is a hard step to make because no one wants to think they are not as nice or kind as they think they are. I was there too. I would not admit it to myself either. I denied it at one point. I still find myself making excuses at times when I fall back into my transitioning phase thinking about being nice. Because we all relapse.  Especially when we have had a bad or trying day. We find ourselves thinking about being nice. We just want to get home and that car does not matter, we put on blinders and feel we will get home quicker and the next car will let them in. Or we will let in only one car. Or maybe tomorrow we will be nice. Sometimes I have even said shoot I have to potty and I am so sorry but I really am speeding to freedom and they will just have to wait, LOL. Though that is an emergency that I should not have waited until the last minute to deal with, it is still not nice when I begin to melt down in the car, losing my patience.

Though I used traffic as an example, because most of us can relate the same can be said for when we are hungry and waiting for dinner. Or waiting to go out with friends or a special event and your friends and family are taking to long to get ready and you do not want to wait on someone. Or my all time favorite deciding if we want to be nice or not to a customer service worker because we can due to the level of their job and how we feel at the time and what our order was. They don’t cook the food and even if they put it in right we choose not to be patient with them AT ALL!

We should all BE nice not just try! myself included! Just do it!

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