Someone recently reminded me how important sites like Groupon and Living Social can be when you are new to an area trying to get to gain new friends or go on dates. I remember when I first moved back to my home town after graduating college. I felt like a stranger. Sure there were people from high school that I knew but I didn’t really KNOW them anymore. I had been gone for 5 years and had not really kept in touch as well as I had hoped when I was in college. So when I moved back I was thirsty for socialization. I was so active in college that it felt like I was dying when I moved back. I was working but so lonely.
I was basically not in any stable relationship and felt so put out. So I was feeling so screwed. I had been in and out of out several relationships after that as well. SO after about a year I finally said I could not take it anymore. After hearing several people and my sister say DATE YOURSELF. I thought to myself how. I looked at groupon and living social and similar discount sites and they gave me so many great group ideas that put you in group ideas with people you did not know with mutual interests for cheaper prices. It was great. Things that you already wanted to do made it that much more fun. I got to learn how to do things and get out the house. I thought maybe I will find a guy at one of these places but if I don’t at least I get to have fun doing something I like. It worked. I had fun and forgot about finding a guy or a friend.
I had found a new confidence to go out alone and enjoy myself and did not feel like a ‘pitiful’ person who could not get a date or get out. Sadly that was what I thought of myself and was embarrassed to get out before due to this. I was so glad. I began going out to eat on my own. It was fun. I met new people bartenders who were nice and talked to me about all sorts of things. I learned so much about people, places, and things that I could hardly believe that I had not done this before. I could not believe I was so afraid before.
If you know how to be safe about when and where to go out there is not much to be worried about. I became so much so that my old friends from high school began reaching out to me. It was crazy how that happens. I enjoyed it. They asked me to join their softball league for their church who played for the city recreation league. I said yes. It was the best yes I ever made. I met my husband this way. Before all this I went through so much anxiety and depression feeling as if nothing would ever work or happen to find a friend or relationship again. I had tried match.com and gone on dates and everything and nothing worked. I tried to stay confident though since I was trying this new path and it all paid off and was the beginning of the turning over of a new leave for me. I have to say that I have worked long and hard to fight the demons of doubt and anxiety that cloud my mind and heart because I know that each time they try I have to find comfort in knowing that I can be bounce back. It helps…though I still have anxiety and some cases are worse than others this one got better with each time as I knew I could bounce back from past experiences. That doesn’t always work with the other attacks or moments. I am just thankful for the confidence that came through that experience!