Well I have learned a lot about me over the last few years and others. For example, when we go out in public we are not always aware of what we look like. I never thought about it until one of my friends brought it up. I am always in a cheery mood and everyone picks at me for it; however, just before she reunited with me after college she was actually intimidated to speak to me when she saw me in a store because I looked mean. I asked her why she would think that. I thought back to the day and there was nothing about the day that I was mad about or anything…Then someone else a few weeks later saw me and said the same thing. I had to sit and think about it. Why would I look so mean when I know that I was not having a bad day and was actually in a pretty good mood.
They saw me in two different cities at different times. I just could not figure it out at first. Then it hit me. I do NOT like shopping in Wal-Mart. It puts me in a bad mood and I have a frown on my face. I walk around with a scowl on my face and it is obvious. I mean most of us have a natural look to us that either looks pleasant, neutral, or sadly I believe the new term is the resting b*tch face or mean face but I usually look pretty pleasant and nice until I go in the dreaded WALLY WORLD. I go in with a mission; i get exactly what I need, go to the check out and get out. I don’t want to talk to anyone, I don’t want browse, I just want OUT!
Yet somehow there is always someone who does even when I don’t. The other day I was in there in the middle of the day when everyone else should be at work and a lady with a rather odd look to her still managed to steamroll her way into conversation with me in the self checkout lane. She saw my purchases in my hand (crockpot liners among other things) and was like those things are amazing. I said yes they are. Granted I had just told a co-workers about them and he was floored so I know they really are but I did not want to have this conversation right then at Wally World. I had even gone to the express grocery Wal-mart to avoid people. Yet here we were. Then she began telling me how she bought them and here family from up north came and she made chili. They wanted the recipe and then she made chicken and all the other things she made. I mean she just kept going. I figured she was older and lonely and just wanted to talk. But I was just tired after my long day and wanted to go home and rest. I did not cut her off but was barely responding until I realized I was not responding at all anymore and trying to use my telepathic powers to will the lady in front of me to hurry up. She did not even notice!
When the lady in front was gone I moved as fast as I could to do my purchases thinking the lady would stop talking as she saw me trying to go but NOPE. She kept on. Then when I paid and was walking out I said politely you have a nice day. And she said the same but I don’t even think she realized I was done so quickly and I believe she was still in mid conversation. I should have felt bad, but I did not. I felt such a rush of adrenaline and relief I almost ran out of the door and to my car. It took everything in me not to so that she did not somehow follow me and continue to the conversation.
I almost screeched my tires trying to get out of the small parking lot to get home. I know I should really work on my face and try to exude more happiness in places that I would rather not be in and be more aware of that but obviously it still does not ward off everyone, LOL.