Being a Couple with an Introvert

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So it finally dawned on me…I have an introvert on my hands no matter how I slice it and even more so will not get use to being invited to social functions. I am a social creature and this is commonplace for me. I am use to being invited to many functions and even having to turn some down because they are on the same date or because they just too many offers around the same time and I know I will need rest (not necessarily always due to MG but because I am HUMAN, LOL). I am there are times I am booked every weekend for like 2 months and then I have already have 1-3 doctor appointments each week and then I am squeezing in  family dinners every Sunday and then lunch dates with girlfriends and special dinners for this or that for friends and birthday celebrations during the week and so on. So yea it can be a lot.

The funny part is that my husband is almost always invited and he is somehow not use to this. He tells me where he came from this is not normal. I told him honey in most adult relationships this is common and that usually when you go to social events when you invite part of a couple the other is the “plus one”, assumed to come, or outright asked to come. Especially when you are married. However, I can see how he gets confused by this as with a few of his friends this is NOT the case. I am definitely not invited to things and it is not assumed that I show up. It’s been like that since before I ever knew them.

My husband is the type of introvert that plays on his phone the entire time he is in a social setting because he is nervous. If he is not allowed to play on his phone he will engage others in conversation and you ‘may’ be able to tell he is nervous but most won’t. He is quite the little extrovert when he begins to talk. However, it’s getting him to stop once he starts, LOL. He begins to ramble I think because he’s nervous. When he is not doing that he is stuck to my side like GLUE. I tell him go network and get to know people. He just says I will sit here I’m ok. I float and mingle and talk. Notice I never used the word SHY…He’s not a shy person, he just does not like to be around a lot of unfamiliar people. I told him the only way to break such a barrier is to to talk to them and find common ground. I never know all the people in a room either but I do not like always just sitting when I know sometimes great things come from meeting new people. It’s not always about who you know but it can help your chances. I keep telling him that as he is always talking about who he could know and what he wants in life yet he refuses to go the extra steps sometimes. He knows that my family and friends know some well connected people for certain fields and he should take advantage of what he can while he can. I’m not saying ask them to to help but while already in social environments get up and engage them.

My introvert is always talking about all the money that can be made and running a business but that takes initiative and drive. I know several powerful executives and authoritative people who are introverts who do not like social engagements or even loathe them but do what must be done to get the job done. My husband will need to learn that what I am dong with our friends and family is prep work for the big leagues. He should get used to it and take those bigger leaps when the opportunity rises and they are coming soon. Yes the extrovert in me is being pushy, LOL.

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17 comments

  1. Lynz Real Cooking · October 19, 2015

    nice post! People are all so very different:)

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lady CAS · October 19, 2015

      Thanks! Yes, I have to push a bit, but he always thanks me for the support. I try not to push too hard though! 🙂

      Liked by 2 people

  2. k.briann · October 19, 2015

    I can’t stand social events and small talk with strangers lol I have to compromise with my extrovert husband and go to events for an hour or so then leave

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lady CAS · October 19, 2015

      He can be like that sometimes (most of the time) and I oblige him; however, he usually ends up saying he is ok and wants to stay longer, lol. He has found something interesting about the event and likes it even if he is not talking.

      Like

      • k.briann · October 19, 2015

        Interesting!

        Liked by 1 person

        • Lady CAS · October 19, 2015

          Yea he’s my little weirdo. He is trying to grow and strangely he goes home many times after what I think has been a disaster for him and says I really enjoyed myself. I almost fall down in shock as I am usually about to pass out from the anxiety of how much worry I had that he was not having fun the whole time trying to cater to him and so forth.

          Like

  3. Deborah the Closet Monster · October 19, 2015

    I, too, am a nervously rambling introvert. People confuse my rambking for perky, bubbly extroversion, and are confused when I say I am solidly an introvert. “But you’re not shy!” *sigh*

    This is actually a big part of my blog breather right now. Before, as an introvert, I used blogging to create a quieter virtual world within a chaotic home one. Once my husband joined (which was exciting!), I found it was no longer my introvert haven. Which means I don’t know what blogging is to me right now, or where to find my haven. Temporarily, it is in books.

    (And, yes, my extrovert husband knows all this. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lady CAS · October 19, 2015

      Aww. As a psychologist I learned this and yes it can still be your haven it just means you have to find what was fun about it for you again. Not just that it was for your inner thoughts but why it was for your inner thoughts. Was it because you felt you could say what you wanted or because you felt you could without him finding out or without repercussions. If not that was it because you had a place all your own. You can still do that even with him blogging. You just have to continue as if he is not there. I do that with my husband blogging as well. People have no idea who my husband is in the blogging community so therefore it still adds that mystery. However, even if they did it keeps us balanced because I do not use his name. I can make him a super hero or a villain if I want though I choose not to do the latter. I am very much the extrovert but I have my shy moments which surprises my husband. My blog is my haven and he knows that as well. Books are a great escape…maybe you can start blogging about that and the escape you get from that.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Deborah the Closet Monster · October 19, 2015

        It’s a convergence of space issues about which I might write someday. For now, I have no desire whatsoever to be on my blog or blogging at all, though reading other folks’ blogs invokes no space issues for me whatsoever.

        Liked by 1 person

        • Lady CAS · October 19, 2015

          I totally understand. You may have to create a second wordpress account just so you can have that space again! This one under a pseudo-name so that you can enjoy you and your inner most thoughts again. Or trying another site if you desire instead of wordpress though I would need to know that one because I would miss you, lol.

          Liked by 1 person

  4. Heather · October 20, 2015

    My bf would fin Mars too crowded lol.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. The Happy Healthy Kiwi · October 20, 2015

    I am an extroverted introvert, honestly you could have been talking about me! Mine is anxiety related tho

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lady CAS · October 21, 2015

      I can understand that! I have days like that though few and far between I know the feeling in large crowds!

      Liked by 1 person

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