We always go to our friends, family, and even lovers for advice. However, have you found that despite the ones we trust the most with our deepest darkest secrets, we tend to go ahead and do what we want and ignore their advice? So why do we ask for their advice? it is an age old question for many friends. I am here to tell you it is part of the feeling of a confessional. People feel they need to confess their sins to someone. To tell someone, anyone what they have done and hear what they have done out loud and prayerfully without judgement. Then they want someone who is on their side to tell them that person is no good as they vent about the the situation. They need a sounding board of sorts. To brainstorm what they want to do and how to go about it it sometimes as well. They do not always think they are looking to you for advice though that’s what they believe they came to you for.
Then later when they told you in great advice to leave a person that harmed them in some way (cheating, abuse, lying and so on), leave the job that is a dead end for the job that has potential and is a start up (but may be out of their comfort zone), or break tradition to follow their own path you may be totally shocked when they take the opposite route and seemingly ignore your advice. It almost hurts when they don’t. Then they complain later about the same situation over and over. All you want to scream is I said my view and you ignored it. However, it is easier said than done for many. You have to have empathy. We have all been there.
You have done the exact same thing in some capacity to one of your confidants. And they have said or thought the same of you! So with that, can you really say that you have no patience for the friend who continues to be ‘hard-headed’? Though there are exceptions, everything cannot be an exception.
I have learned that many people come to me for advice, mostly because I am good at listening. Then they want to hear my take on what they believe the other person may be thinking. They always want my professional opinion since I have a degree; however, many times just like many of you, I do not need a degree to tell them the issue. I am very good at being able to give a person both points of view to a situation though the other person may not being there without taking a side. However, I also know when my friends just needs a friend and not a professional as well. They need someone who is about them and only them not necessarily to say they are right but to say I am here for you even if you are wrong (without saying they are wrong and accepting their decision no matter what I think). For me as long as they are happy I don’t care how ‘wrong’ it may be to others, unless it’s illegal of course. So please understand I have an open mind, but also understand that if I come to you for advice it means that I trust you and that I hope you will have the same ideals!