Feeling Like An Object…

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There are days that I feel like I am just a piece of furniture or an inanimate object here to do the work for others and nothing more. I know I should not feel this way but I do. I feel like this at work and outside of work. I guess another term for this is taken for granted. Like Mrs. Potts there I feel as if I should be catering to people because it is what people demand of me ask of me. I try my best to never complain because I know things can always be worse. I knowing that working in customer service people come to you and expect things to be a certain way and that they have good days and bad days you have to give them the benefit go the doubt as well because they could be coming in having a bad day and maybe your smile and positive interaction could turn it all around for them.

However, that can be hard if someone is always using your place of employment as their way to get rid of their negative vibes which can sometimes be what a wellness/fitness center is. Where people come to melt away the stress. I get some who come in negative and though they may leave better they are not always the friendliest. You feel like they left their coat of ‘mean’ on you the coat rack to wear and kept walking. Like that was perfectly fine. You almost desire not to interact with them anymore. Sometimes I try to make it my mission during their workout to brighten their day anyway with a smile or a nice hello anyway or something. Then quickly walk off.

Half the reason I do this more now than I use to is because my regional director pushed us to years ago only he had no idea how some people responded to us doing this. It even resulted in people putting nasty things about some of us in surveys saying we talk too much interrupting their workouts. I was like see what happens when grumpy people don’t want to be talked too. Have one conversation and they will hold it like lava for months until the next survey and pretend it was the worst experience of their lives.Β Then it makes you almost never want to talk to anyone ever again.

Then outside of work I get those moments when I am taken for granted! I’m forgotten about more often than I would like to say when plans are made and I see many friends together in pictures and I’m like dang guys when was this? They were like you are always busy…and that is code for in the last 2 years for SICK. Which hurts! I am stable now so I try to reach out to everyone and say so since the beginning of the summer and say hey lets chill and do this or that but now everyone seems ROOTED! Β It’s as if now that I am stable no one is going anywhere or doing anything and when they are it was a surprise they didn’t expect to go to or very last minute…I feel so disconnected. It’s as if people are afraid of me or my illness and handling me with kid gloves which is a bit annoying. I’m grown and I will let you know when I cannot handle something.

Then there are those who say she is tough…she can do it all and don’t pitch in at all even when I say I need help…I don’t get that at all! I call them, beg them, and ask them to help with something and they say they will (lip service) and then when it’s time for them to help me because they swear, “I should not be doing so much all the time and need to rest sometimes” they are no where to be found! These people amaze me as well! I just do not get them! Why offer a lie, or open your mouth, why not just say no I have no intention of helping like other people I know. At least they are honest. You won’t hurt my feelings by being honest, at least then I won’t be sitting there waiting around looking stupid thinking help is coming when in actuality I will be doing it by myself and later than I wanted because I actually waited on YOU!

I know this post is not very like me but lately I have been feeling very beat and whipped upon lately. Like I have endured a bit more than I would care to take lately. Not more than I can bear because the Lord would not do this, but more than usual lately. I don’t like to complain but, yes today, I am doing a bit of that purely out of hurt and sadness. I’m feeling all used up of my positiveness and need a good refill! I need a pick me up! I can hardly wait until vacation in less than 4 weeks! I needs it I have not had more than 2/3 day vacation in over 3 years not even for my honeymoon sadly thanks to this illness.

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15 comments

  1. Heather · October 26, 2015

    On behalf of the flaky people of the world, it is not you, it is us. Sometimes we need a good shake to remind us there is a whole world outside of our personal universes. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    • Lady CAS · October 26, 2015

      I pray that is it! I am tired of feeling so left in the cold! As they continue to have fun without me. Though I make my own fun this is still quite hurtful!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Mon ☠ · October 26, 2015

    Yeah. When people don’t seem to see our worth it feels like we just as much of a thing as anything is. It hurts.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Lady CAS · October 26, 2015

      It does! I’m glad I know my worth but sometimes it would be good to know that others did too, especially the ones we believe care the most 😦

      Liked by 2 people

  3. Deborah the Closet Monster · October 26, 2015

    I deeply relate to parts of this.

    More importantly, β™‘

    Liked by 2 people

    • Lady CAS · October 26, 2015

      I know many of us can! I appreciate the love. DITTO! I will take it all forms that I can get it! Sometimes being up here is my only solace {HUGZ}

      Liked by 2 people

  4. stephellaneous · October 26, 2015

    Thank you for sharing this, and don’t you worry whether or not this post is “like you.” We are complex creatures, and our emotions are varied. This blog is your place, your outlet, and this is what needed to come out today. I’m sorry for the struggles you’re going through – and I wish I couldn’t relate. But I can – people completely forget about you and then wonder what’s wrong with YOU when you’re upset about it or when you 100% withdraw from them. I hope you are able to come through it without withdrawing as completely as I have. You have too much to offer. Maybe, like Heather said, maybe they need a good shake to snap them out of it! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    • Lady CAS · October 26, 2015

      Thank you and I’d love to do the shaking, LOL! But yes I have had to do some withdrawing in the past so I pray I don’t get to that point again. I don’t like it when I become a hermit! 😦

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Sharon Yvonne · October 27, 2015

    Wow sounds like a rough day. I understand, I used to work retail. Retail, like all customer service jobs, involve dealing with the fickle ego of customers.

    By the way, your friends sound like the dog, the cat, and the duck from The Little Red Hen story. They don’t want to help, but they want to eat. SMH.

    I hope today you feel better as I’m reading this post a day late. Have a good day!

    Cool blog πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    • Lady CAS · October 27, 2015

      I need to read this story! Looking it up right now, I love to read. That seems to happen to me some days. I figure some days I am meant to serve and I need to just say thank you Lord for being able to have this ability and not complain, but man that’s hard sometimes, LOL. I am feeling a bit better but it’s only because I find support at strange times and places and I’m thankful for that too. I appreciate your response and kind words they helped more than you know to know that others have felt this way too. {HUGZ} πŸ™‚

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Sarah's Attic of Treasures · October 29, 2015

    HUGSZZZZZZ I am so glad you vented. Everyone needs to vent sometimes. It does me the world of good to vent here so I don’t VENT at home. It is much better here but I still feel left out, out of place, unloved etc a good deal of the time. Love you.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lady CAS · October 29, 2015

      Thank you and I though I feel a lot better today not just from venting but I’m in a better head space I will say I needed to vent. It is something it is just do not do anymore. I have become someone who says my piece to an extent and bottles everything else because I feel there is a time and place for everything and then that time or place seems to never come and I end up feeling like a balloon of emotional baggage sometimes ready to pop. UGH. But again thank you for listening and not judging me and I love you too.

      Liked by 1 person

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