Have you ever had a ever anticipated a moment that you know would come and dreamed of how it would go once it got there but it was nothing like how it should have been yet it was still somehow still going to the be greatest thing ever. This is how being able to hug my brother is going to be this weekend. I haven’t seen him in about 3-4 years and I have not touched him in over a decade. The last few times I saw him locked up I just kept thinking what it would be like to touch him. Just to hug him.
For him to know what it feels like to have that closeness with loved ones. He will finally get to know that now after all this time and I finally get to have that. I ave waited for this moment so long that every time I think about it I tear up. Sadly, I also tear up at thinking about the fact that it will also end and that I will only have a short time with him before I have to watch them take him away and again. It chokes me up every time.
It’s like watching a piece of me be stolen every time. Some people would probably ask me if it is that painful to deal with why do it at all? I say it is because of love for my brother and for him to know and feel that love. For this is all he has to hold on to while he is locked away. I understand he has committed a crime and so does he, but people need to understand that he is human and is paying his debt and still has human desires such as the need to feel and desire love.
Regardless I would him all day if I could! If only we could be like the image in that picture forever in my mind! That’s still how I see him…That’s how I see us! ~Sigh