Are You Interesting?

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I will be the first to say that I curse at times but it is not often. I found that I did it around some people more than others and it was more of a peer pressure (fitting in) sort of thing. I found that when I am not around them it simply does not happen, and I prefer it. So then I realized maybe I should limit my time around these people. I also realized that profanity is not just the four letter words that one drops but the concepts and ideas that one holds about life. The obscene views one holds.

The sad part was that some of them were family. However, I refused to feel as if I had to prove myself to be something I was not to be around them. I felt like every time I was around them I was not enough for this small particular group of individuals. Mind you this is not my whole family just a select few. I found that they spoke pretty of ill of me behind my back and I stupidly kept trying to force a bond between myself and them. Only to find later it was in vain. They thought I was to ‘uppity’ and that I looked down on them. However, the truth was that I truly saw more potential and would try help. Only to learn that after being taken advantage of like the new member meeting them that I was the fool.

So I stopped and that’s why I was being talked about. Because I refused to keep being taken advantage of. I refused to continue to keep reaching out when it was not a two way street. I was doing all the reaching out to some and some would never reach out to me. So I quit reaching out. Not out of spite, but out of necessity for my fragile heart and then because my health problems just did not allow me to keep up with them.

The funny part was that they still did not check on me even then. So I keep to myself and reach out to those who wish for me to and we have healthy non profane relationships. We catch up and I still send my love to the rest of the family regardless if they care or not (which I always hope they do). I have learned how to better control my profane acts. Moreover, I will say that when a person makes a change they have relapses and they must make a plan to recover and get back on the boat. I do not have these often but when it happens it is usually in moments of anger or extreme depression and I will say that my best way to recover is remember that it is only temporary and that I have come to far and accomplished too many wonderful things to go back to that life.

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8 comments

  1. AmirhoseinGhazi · January 3, 2016

    could you please vote for me on my last post?

    Thanks my dear friend!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lady CAS · January 3, 2016

      Hi I loved the story. I voted but am I able to vote everyday? I don’t mid voting again if that is possible. Just let me know. Thanks! Good Luck! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The Happy Healthy Kiwi · January 3, 2016

    I swear like a sailor, it’s an occupational hazard of working in the trucking industry and also very Kiwi. However what I have noticed is there are two types of people who swear. The ones who say it negatively and the ones who throw 3-4 swear words into each sentence for no reason other than they can. Completely unnecessary, but it’s still a thing and I have become one of those people. I don’t associate with the people who swear negatively, for the same reasons you do. Who needs that in their life?

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lady CAS · January 3, 2016

      Agreed! I find that sometimes I say swear words more as a filler or an exclamation and again it is more out of desire that I do not want the young one around me to hear it (nieces and nephews) than anything. Like you said there is a difference between being negative and positive regardless of what words you use and I totally agree with you. I am just personally trying to get rid of the potty mouth in general, lol 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  3. The Happy Healthy Kiwi · January 3, 2016

    I don’t think I could do it based on how much I’m exposed to on a daily basis at work but if that wasn’t a factor I’d certainly be the same ☺

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lady CAS · January 3, 2016

      Yea that was me when I was at my last job. I was just around it too much. Then it was certain friends. But now I have a pretty good handle on it. Though I do enjoy my friends who are are truckers, military, bikes, and such, the language and atmosphere is so colorful. I don’t ever mind it! The stories are pretty cool and funny too. My husband works in a labor intensive job with just men and they are like that too and when the wives go on trips with them it’s crazy, LOL

      Liked by 1 person

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