Tired is as Tired Does!
I have a friend who keeps reminding me that the reason I am tired is because I have not slowed down to rest and I keep going non-stop. I think to myself…DERH! I know this, I am sure it’s written all over my face in bold permanent marker that refuses to go away. The sad part is that I do not have much of a choice. For some reason, when I am not as busy in one aspect of my life other aspects decide they want to pick of the ‘slack’ and require that I become busy.
Example, I get a day of rest coming up on the calendar that I have been looking forward to for weeks because I have taken it off or because it is a holiday and somehow everyone I know wants to schedule something with me that day. I feel bad because I am not as social as I once was because of school in the past, now work, and MG. Most days I can push through the MG, rest is still very important. So when I can get it I try so that I do not land myself in the hospital or rack up unnecessary treatments when I can save my veins and PAIN from the treatments. They are not that pleasant. Moreover, they also require TIME. Something I already have little of. So if I get run down then I have to add in treatments and then figure out when I have time for them which actually makes me busier.
I also try to take on things I enjoy too and yes eustress (good stress) is still stress. Your body still becomes tired after it. Even after the great adrenaline rush that occurs and all the positive benefits, you still ‘crash’ afterwards become tired afterwards. Your body has to recover.
Sometimes the best way for me to prepare for such days are to take more than one day off; one to hang out with 1 or more people and then next to actually rest. It sounds crazy but I have got to rest sometimes. I work more than 50 hours every week. Sometimes I just have to do the low key things like eating out (eating the healthier options when I can) or doing an art class (I love all types of art so it doesn’t really matter).
When I get too tired…I just hide. I stop calling people and go to work and home and forget people exist. It’s not intentional anymore. It’s a coping mechanism I developed in undergrad when I wanted to be left alone by those I dated and it spread to all relationships over time. It developed into a habit now and I seem like a hermit when I am really stressed. No one hears from me and I do not always realize I am doing this until one of my best friends/or parents texts or calls me and says they have not heard from me in a while. It’s sad but true. I don’t mean to push anyone away but I just get focused on getting things done and then getting home as quickly as possible to relax because that is all I have the energy for until I can create more time. So I sustain this behavior until someone snaps me out of it and I try to rearrange things/ re-access if I am actually still busy or actually on autopilot!
It’s crazy how focused and habitual we can become!