Where has this insatiable appetite come from? I have been hungry for everything lately, not just food but understanding, reading, relaxation, and quality time with loved ones. It has been something I cannot seem to get enough of. I have been devouring all of these things in LARGE quantities, bingeing until my brain and body hurts, then go panting on the side lines, only to go rest and do it all over again.

I am sure this non-stop manner is not good for me but I right now I have a few things on my side such as youth among the many things against me…I know with MG I should slow down, but when you have spent the better part of 3 years unable to live a normal life around family and friends, food and have normal activities you tend to do this. Now I am trying to find a happy medium. Balance is hard. I do not want to be a stranger to all my friends and family.

I also have missed out on many vacations and chances to have fun due to this disorder and now I am trying to be able to do just that. I know I cannot do it all at once (though I know it doesn’t seem that I know that the way I go at things sometimes, LOL) but I do try to get as many experiences in as possible within reason. It is always hard when I have to tell people no when I really want to say yes, because I want to go, especially after saying no to everyone for so long.

What’s more is while I was in school, I said no to family functions for even longer because of distance and learning who I was without being around them all the time. Now I know better and value and understand life with my family. So again, it’s trying to fit them in as much as my friends and my husband too. And of course, all my medical things and eventually we will have to think about the things for us as a little family too. I’m exhausted thinking about all that, LOL. For now, I will just have to continue to use all my lovely new apps to keep my memory sharp and on point since my on memory alone needs refreshers (thanks meds) and pick and choose what events and moments are going to give me the most moments with the most friends to show my face at. In other words, if I go to this event, will I be seen by the most friends at once so I can reach a quota and not have to go to 10 small events, LOL. Less stress (even good stress) on my body. Plus will my hubby want to go and would he have fun? These are the things I think of because I like to introduce him to  new people and new environments. He always drags his feet but in the end he always enjoys himself and then asks to be invited again. It is always the SAME cycle, he is such a brat.

Welp, time to start/ finish planning events for March, LOL. There are already some in there. Then I have to start filling in some things for April as well. My friends are booking me out and I am not too upset about it. I need to see them and get out more. I just have to ensure I pick healthy options when I eat out with FIBER and PROTEIN because I do not wish to be hooked on sweets or be starving later, LOL.


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