So I went to my appointment with the first therapist last week and as I said she was not great, check my post last week about it, the good and bad of therapy. No she was not the first therapist I have ever had in my life so I have basis for comparison. However, she is actually going to be a therapist for my husband and therefore asked that I come in and give background information because there was so much conflict. My husband and I agreed this was okay. So I did, but I definitely did not like this therapist for myself and needed to quickly find one for myself and one for us to both go to once the timing was right in a a couple of weeks to try to do a session together to hash out or issues.
We decided that he had other issues outside of the marriage he would continue to see her for so he needs her for that and I need my own therapist for the same reason but we will get a third therapist for marital counseling too. WE figure this will help us grow stronger but also to prevent he or myself from feeling as though any particular therapist we already have a ‘relationship’ with is taking sides.
I believe I have chosen that person but we will see. So far he enjoys the therapist I did not like…I do not want us to go to long individualized because as each marital counselor has stated and as I already knew from getting a degree in psychology going to long apart in therapy could cause us to grow apart naturally in our marriage where there is already conflict.
I do believe that with therapy it is possible for us to fix our relationship issues but only if each of us are willing to make changes and sacrifices. Mine will likely come in the form of giving up power while his will likely come in the form of needing to learn how to take on responsibility. It is something I am uncomfortable doing when I feel I cannot trust giving up power and it going the right way. It does not have to go my way as long as it WORKS. I need to see organization, plans, a system to know that things will happen. Too many times I have tried to trust that this will be the case and then at the final hour, minute, second realized, there was nothing and I have to scoop up everything and do it myself…(that’s if I let it get that far without my plan b already planned to the 9’s style).
On the plus side, in addition to finishing up with his dr. this week. I get to see my doctor and have my first hypnotherapy session and I am excited. I can hardly wait and I plan to incorporate it into either my morning routine or my bedtime routine as part of my meditation. I am just thrilled!