It was the most unusual feeling to me and I looked forward to it more than most people would look forward to the unknown. I guess I enjoy the thought of of what could be and the fun of how it could alter my life for the better. I was excited and could hardly believe the day was here last Friday. When the time came for it I could hardly believe that there was not some force in my way trying to stop me…of course there was but I was determined to beat it.
I got to the office and my therapist looked as if she had been crying or rubbing her eyes nonstop. She seemed to me as if she was the one that may have needed therapy that day. I was watching her to see if she would wipe her eyes, but no.However, she was fidgeting a bit it seemed.
She came in and seemed to completely change her whole demeanor and take a deep breathe and get to business. I liked it. Though I knew she could tell I was observing her she also knew that I was there for a service and that we were not there to be ‘friends’ but to be a client/ patient relationship that may be friendly. This is one line unlike my personal trainer relationship, I did not want to alter or blur.
So I when she began the session we talked about the ‘other’ therapist and he not so professional tactics and then a bit more of background and then what goals we had for my future before starting my hypnosis session.
Then she had me switch to the recliner and turned on my recorder so I could listen to this as a reaffirming message before bed each day for the next month. I closed my eyes and her voice became a firm melodic tone that narrated my journey into the multifaceted layers of my unconscious. At first I panicked. When she said find your happy place I was like well duh, it’s always the beach or someplace with water, but then, I panicked because as she continued to describe how I should feel in this place (the sun on face and so forth) I LOST IT. I was upset because I could no longer feel the sun or imagine it or anything. I was upset. I panicked because I felt like she was still going on this journey without me. I was totally starting to unravel.
Then I was like focus! She just said that your mind may wonder and that’s ok. PHEW. SO! Then I was like keep listening to her voice and breathe. Then she continued and would say calming things that helped me relax even more and counting at times explaining how sometimes it would take me 100-fold deeper into relaxation or to that effect. Or using symbolization saying a taking a yard stick where 36 is the highest level slide down to 1 and be to sink further into your subconscious. Or even I say 10 you will be on the bottom step…and so on.
Each time I would feel myself slip deeper into a ‘sleep’ but not sleep like I was sleeping just like when you sleep in a dream (almost like the movie inception). My limbs felt heavier and I did not want to lift them, the first time it happened when in her office I was unsure if I could lift them…but at home I realized that I could (I just really did not want to that deep in my sub/unconsciousness). Your limbs may or may not tingle…mine did but not tingle like they were numb but tingle like they you could feel the blood rushing through the your hands and feet like a light throbbing or heartbeat pulsing in those areas but not painful.
She stuck in words of affirmation in the hypnosis to help me become more confident in ‘speaking’ to my stress and anxiety. Telling it to go away and and how to control it. It ended with her counting me out of the hypnosis or having the option to go straight into a deeper sleep (actual sleep). I have enjoyed it thus far. However, the big drawback to hypnosis is that even though I am learning to apply it sub/unconsciously, I am only 3 days in. When some things happen right now I am still going to LOSE IT. For example, when your husband pulls stunts that he KNOWS triggers your anxiety and then he gets caught for it…I’m not sure that even if I was a master in Hypnosis I would be able to handle somethings as easily but seriously, let me not me a wee babe in ti training when ya act like dweeb!