Writing laterally-Help!

SO last week I hit a writing hurdle. I struggle with dialogue. I can describe a scene in great detail like you would tell an actor or give them direction (almost like a screen play perhaps) but I am not great with creating dialogue. I know how it should go but when I have to actually write it I become to repetitive and lose vocabulary creativeness and feel muted and frustrated. I hate constantly saying he said, she said, I said, They said. etc. I see why there are more modern books that write a whole chapter from the point of view of one character, then the next chapter is from the other/ another character’s POV. It’s easier to be a bit more creative.

So when I hit this wall it made me feel a bit more unexcited about how to make my book flow naturally and I began doing more research which I must do anyway instead of keeping the true creative part and writing chunks of my book. I have begun a lateral process instead of moving forward.

Moreover, I have struggled with telling my reader the story 99% of the time instead of showing them the story. Once again it’s like you want to put people in the scene with you and not assume everyone around you knows what is going on without giving so much detail that you are boring them. You still have to leave ‘white space’ or gaps for them to feel as if there is something left for the imagination to do some work and interpret on their own. You do not want to spoon feed them that YOUR creativity in that line. This should not be hard for me as I have never had an issue with this in my poetry or blogs, but in my book I am struggling because I feel added pressure.

Is this natural? Should I have the same feeling that I have when I write poetry and blogs to accomplish the book? I get that I should write prompts and practice dialogues and scenes and such more often even if not daily but are my feelings valid? I am getting quite anxious which is anything but what I wanted to feel writing this book, it was fun and now it’s kinda not as fun.

Dr. Amnesia- Draft 2

Here is a prompt from Pixie Annie that I am trying…

You are in the waiting room at the doctor’s surgery when the guy sitting next to you, collapses on the floor. Everyone else in the room stands and stares, all the doctors are busy with emergencies…over to you.

 

I have never seen a more haggard and disheveled group of individuals. The woman across from me was in her pajamas with a bathrobe and a scarf sitting in a wheelchair moaning incomprehensively about rabbits and astronauts. The man to my left smelled strongly of booze and he was drooling on my shoulder covered in dirt and what appeared to be blood from where I couldn’t tell and wait! What now? I cannot believe this, this guy just collapsed beside me!

This couldn’t have been a longer day…I’ve been up since 4am working out in the freaking elements, where high winds were stinging my eyes and whipping the sheets of rain across my face like sand. Unfortunately, my job goes on and I was found pulling weeds, mulching flowerbeds, cutting grass with a small machine since a big riding one would leave ruts and divots with this rain, and building one gaudy overpriced pond in the middle of a four acre estate. I mean seriously who still does that. I was waiting all day for my boss to call us in for the day, but no such luck. Then, because it was just my luck, I land myself in the hospital because I got hit in the head (don’t ask me how because I honestly do not know), which is bleeding pretty significantly as head wounds tend to do, and can’t remember anything more.

Now this guy has collapsed and I feel as if I know something about him that should help but I’m not completely sure. No one is really paying attention so I try a few things. First, I look at him, he looks like any other Asian guy except I can possibly guess his age.

I nudge the alcoholic. “Do you know this man?”

“Yes”, he says, “li, li me lone.”

He chuckles passes something from hand to hand a small machine and goes back to sleep.

That seems a bit weird but some people are like that. I touch his arm and see if he moves, nothing happens. Everyone in the rooms is still staring or otherwise preoccupied with their own lives and therefore too busy to help.  I try again.

“Um excuse me ma’am, but did you see anyone come in with this man?”

“IF THE DAMN RABBITS FLEW THEN THIS WOULD NOT BE AN ISSUE OF NATIONAL SECURITY AND THE ASTRONAUTS WOULD NOT BE NEEDED IN THE GROUND” screamed disheveled woman

“Right!” I said. And she turned dropped something on the floor the skidded toward another patient.

I’m thinking this is a negligence lawsuit waiting to happen.

The man stayed there like that for another 30 minutes and before I knew it he started to come around just after a quiet lady in the corner made a strange noise that sounded like a cross between a sigh and a whistle like she was missing teeth while sighing too hard. Was it that easy to heal him, Was this part of her ailment, why she was here. I didn’t care. I almost want her to whistle closer to my head. Everyone sort of sat back down over time and the doctors still ignored the man. Eventually a nurse came over and checked on him and took him to the back. Then it was finally my turn. Unfortunately, the sigh whistler didn’t heal me I still couldn’t remember a thing! As I was being rushed along I noticed the small item that was skidded across the floor in her hands, I was glad she was going to give it back to the lady, though in her state she probably did not even notice.

Fast forward 3 months later…

I started to get my memory back and sorted through all my things and belongings after getting out of the hospital.

“Sir, the con artist targeted you when you walked into the hospital. He overheard your symptoms at check-in and used that time to pickpocket you and steal your wallet and insert all his information with his team of criminals in the hospital — those staring bystanders who didn’t help” said the FBI and Homeland Security Agents who took turn telling me about what happened. “They are part of a professional crime ring that make fake ids and sell or use them for their own gains and it only takes 15-30 minutes.” They continued.

As if being in a hospital for 3 months not knowing who you are wasn’t bad enough, then you wake up and remember only to be unsure when you want to know return home to find such a mess. Who would want to come home to outrageous bills, maxed out credit cards, and luxury trips that you never took. Explaining this to creditors, banks, insurance, and the security companies is not easy when you first have to convince them that you were also in the hospital and that you were under the wrong name because you had partial retrograde amnesia (hey I could remember how to speak, eat, walk, and so on so I wasn’t a complete case here people).

Though I still had to pay some of the things, some companies allowed me some grace due to proof of the hospital bills and pictures from the hospitals now required when you check-in with the new Epic system. Unfortunately, it still ruined my credit. I wanted vengeance. It came sooner than I thought…

My first day back to work my boss called me to a new home to create a waterfall feature in a pond, with both a zen and rock garden with bamboo accents. This was going to take all day. I was also praying I didn’t en up with another head injury.

At the last minute the owner came out (which usually doesn’t happen since everything is usually done through contracts with the boss).

“Hello, your work has exceeded expectations; however, I have one more requests that I will gladly pay more for, could you please add cherry blossom trees along the walkway?” Asked the owner.

When I saw the man’s face I instantly recognized him as the con artist. He didn’t seem to recognize me, the mark of a constant con artist.

“I will call one of my workers from one of the other locations to bring over the saplings right away,” I calmly stated, keeping my composure.

In actuality, I called homeland security, who involved the FBI and the local police because they had been looking for this individual for quite some time. Indeed justice was served. I felt like Scooby Doo and the gang foiling his plans when he came out in cuffs and then several other members whose faces I’d seen in the hospital that fateful night followed him as well. I knew they’d be going down at least for my case.

When questioned later, I had one question for the con man.

“How did you end up calling the landscaping company I worked for?” I asked.

“I called the landscaping company I found in my wallet which I had kept as a memento from a wallet I had stolen from while back. However, I would have remembered the name if it was you, but it had your boss’s name on it, so I decided to give them a try. If you are going to lead two lives you really have to lock one away while the other exists or the two can get confused as they did here.” Says the con man.

I just reply, “Or it can simply be karma.”

Dr. Amnesia

Here is a prompt from Pixie Annie that I am trying…

You are in the waiting room at the doctor’s surgery when the guy sitting next to you, collapses on the floor. Everyone else in the room stands and stares, all the doctors are busy with emergencies…over to you.

I cannot believe this guy just collapsed beside me! This couldn’t have been a longer day…I’ve been up since 4am working out in the freaking elements, where high winds were stinging my eyes and whipping the sheets of rain across my face like sand. Unfortunately, my job goes on and I was found pulling weeds, mulching flowerbeds, cutting grass with a small machine since a big riding one would leave ruts and divots with this rain, and building one gaudy overpriced pond in the middle of a four acre estate. I mean seriously who still does that. I was waiting all day for my boss to call us in for the day, but no such luck. Then, because it was just my luck, I land myself in the hospital because I got hit in the head (don’t ask me how because I honestly do not know), which is bleeding pretty significantly as head wounds tend to do, and can’t remember anything besides what I did today.

Now this guy has collapsed and I feel as if I know something about him that should help but I’m not completely sure. No one is really paying attention so I try a few things. First, I look at him, he looks like any other Asian guy except I can possibly guess his age. That seems a bit weird but some people are like that. I touch his arm and see if he moves, nothing happens. Everyone in the rooms is still staring or otherwise preoccupied with their own lives and therefore too busy to help. I’m thinking this is a negligence lawsuit waiting to happen.

The man stayed there like that for another 30 minutes and before I knew it he started to come around just after a quiet lady in the corner made a strange noise that sounded like a cross between a sigh and a whistle like she was missing teeth while sighing too hard. Was it that easy to heal him, I almost want her to whistle closer to my head. Everyone sort of sat back down over time and the doctors still ignored the man. Eventually a nurse came over and checked on him and took him to the back. Then it was finally my turn. Unfortunately, the sigh whistler didn’t heal me I still couldn’t remember a thing!

Fast forward 3 months later…

I started to get my memory back and sorted through all my things and belongings after getting out of the hospital. I learned that the Asian man was a con artist that had targeted me when I walked into the hospital. He heard my symptoms upon check-in and used that time to pickpocket me and steal my wallet and insert all his information with his team of criminals in the hospital (those staring bystanders who didn’t help). They made a fake ID and copies of all his information and mine in that time frame and swapped them and put them in my wallet. When I returned home, my credit and my life was in shambles.

As if being in a hospital for 3 months not knowing who you are wasn’t bad enough, then you wake up and remember only to be unsure when you want to know return home to find such a mess. Who would want to come home to outrageous bills, maxed out credit cards, and luxury trips that you never took. Explaining this to creditors, banks, insurance, and the security companies is not easy when you first have to convince them that you were also in the hospital and that you were under the wrong name because you had partial retrograde amnesia (hey I could remember how to speak, eat, walk, and so on so I wasn’t a complete case here people).

Though I still had to pay some of the things, some companies allowed me some grace due to proof of the hospital bills and pictures from the hospitals now required when you check-in with the new Epic system. Unfortunately, it still ruined my credit. I wanted vengeance. It came sooner than I thought…

My first day back to work my boss called me to a new home to create a waterfall feature in a pond, with both a zen and rock garden with bamboo accents. This was going to take all day. Last minute the owner came out (which usually doesn’t happen since everything is usually done through contracts with the boss) to ask me to add in some Japanese cherry blossom saplings. When I saw the man’s face I instantly recognized him as the con artist. He didn’t seem to recognize me, the mark of a constant con artist. I kept my composure. I told him that I would call one of my workers from one of the other locations to bring over the saplings right away.

In actuality, I called homeland security, who involved the FBI and the local police because they had been looking for this individual for quite some time. Indeed justice was served. I felt like Scooby Doo and the gang foiling his plans when he came out in cuffs and then several other members whose faces I’d seen in the hospital that fateful night followed him as well. I knew they’d be going down at least for my case.

When questioned later, the con man said he called the landscaping company he found in a wallet that he stole from a while back. However, he would’ve remembered the name if it was me, but it had my bosses name on it, as the owner, because I hadn’t had mine made yet. He decided to give them a try well you know what they say about karma.

My Wonderful Followers

images (1).jpg

Yesterday I posted about feedback in one’s writing career and depression. Who would have thought that the two topics would have seemed to merge into an overwhelming response of feedback of positive responses of support and information of how to’s, try this, similar experiences, internet hugs, and cheery smiles and messages to make me smile. The out pour of support was just so amazing. I was not expecting it and yet it was there.

I was offered free advice on how to creatively write better through daily prompts, and even offered some prompts (thank you ladies and gents I so appreciate it because I did not know where to begin and I truly appreciate it), I was offered free hypnosis (which I may take you up on this, lol), I was offered smiles and hugs which I take graciously because they are contagious and make me smile and feel so warm and fuzzy.

I enjoy the opportunity to share with you all because you make me feel like I am being HEARD! You care about what I have to say because you not only read it but some of you have been through it before and can relate to it. It makes my writing have a purpose. It makes my writing come to life. It does what I do everyday in life for my mother and brother, I advocate…I advocate for writers, for justice, for love for so many things, but I especially advocate for those who have health or mental health issues.

Thank you to all my followers who have shown me support especially during the last few weeks. Your support is one the reasons I have continued to flourish!

Strangers vs. Familiars: Horray for Strangers

images.jpg

It’s amazing how people you have never met can be so much more kind than people you have known all your life. I have learned that people I have met through blogging have a common connection with you becasue of another blogger or interest and usually have gone looking for your blog through that interest. Therefore, in a way they have come looking for you. They have the option to follow you or not and to unfollow you at anytime.

Unlike facebook or twitter where people get so intimate that they feel the need becasue they see a comment box that even if they do not know you they will put the most negative comments becasue they feel they have a right because they have access to your page. Yes we have freedom of speech but these people are still human and they did not seek you out and post on your intimate pictures about your intimate events negative things.

Some people feel like you shouldn’t post about them, but you have the right to post what you wish without feeling as if someone is going to attack you because they are immature and ignorant. This is what I like about wordpress and why I actually do not let every post of mine automatically post to my facebook or twitter. People who you are familiar with tend to be some of the most harsh and critical people. They also be the most in your business and negative people you could have ever met which is pretty sad. They make you feel guilty and ashamed for having issues of any type. Moreover, they also seem to never be happy for you when you are happy but are the first ones to offer ‘help’ when you are down…seems a bit backwards to me. Where is the friendship all the time. I don’t mean 24/7 but in all types of situations, good, bad, and everything in between. I know we can’t comment on everything but geesh only coming around when I’m sad is strange (which on my fb I rarely even post a sad post).

They have no empathy until something is happening to them. I never realized how badly friends and family can really make you feel…but thankfully I other friends and family that make up for the ones who are negative. I also have those strangers and followers on my blog who combined show more support and empathy than I could have ever thought possible when I have been going through the darkest times of my life in the last 3 years.

People are interesting characters!

Why Truly Helpful Feedback is Hard to Come By

This was very helpful and informative as I am just starting out! I suggest you take a look…Feedback is critical and you may be looking at it all wrong if someone ‘snubs’ you.

A Writer's Path

Feedback

by Meg Dowell

When we share our work with others, we are usually looking for one thing: feedback.

Constructive criticism is an important part of the writing process. Without it, we might still be able to improve, but we’d do so at a much slower and less specific rate. Having someone hand us back our work with specific notes on things we can fix and improve on isn’t always easy, but over time we get used to it. If we can find a good feedback source. And that’s a big IF.

View original post 561 more words

Creating Book Characters and Research

So I am learning that when creating characters, you really have to know how big a role you want your characters to play to decide how in depth you go with them. If you want the character to be a main character, when then you need to give them a full name (at least a first and last name) and a full description both in personality and physical nature. You also need to be able to give them a bit of background work and/or context as to what you want to readers to know that is important about them that will help readers know why they are so important or why they should care so much about. How will they become invested.

Are you going to give a bit of background information about how they grew up before you begin the meat and potatoes? Then with your minor characters, how will you present them, will they be given any background? Some may need just a bit some will not. If they show up enough, they will definitely need some sort of background at some point, but maybe not right away or sometimes even in that book they could have a spin off (I have seen this done and it’s pretty cool). Sista Souljah did it with Winter’s younger sister (Porsche) who was not as major a character.

download (2).jpg  download (3).jpg

Then you have to make sure the time lines match up. This has always been tricky for me when writing on my own but now with this software I can stay on top of it because it shows it to me in both the character sections, the events, and the the whole book. I feel pretty confident about keeping my dates and events in order while making a these characters and what they do especially as I plan on moving forward to create a series/ spin offs based on the main characters.

More so, I am doing a great amount of research looking at the formats of books I have enjoyed. I am researching the content that must go into my book. Every author researches certain facts that they put into their books or events. They make sure that destinations exist or do not, they ensure information is not copied so they are not plagiarizing, they research names/ places so they can state they mean what they believe them to mean (unless they are making it up), or that information is accurate before posting it in their books. This can take a great deal of time. BELIEVE ME!

download (6).jpg

I almost feel like I am in school again with all the research, but it feels good when it gives way to a few paragraphs or pages of new material of written work. I can triumph in knowing that I ave something solid and I hold on to that reference with my dear life just like when I was in school and post it in my writeitnow 5 software so if it’s needed later for me or the editor I have it.  They won’t catch me slipping.

download (5).jpg

Depression is ALIVE

I have to admit that for me this is unnatural but very real. I am struggling with depression. I usually have a down time for about a day and shake it off but I can honestly say it has stuck for longer than that this time. It’s starting to affect my perception of how I see things. I am seeing the down side of things constantly. I am seeing the negative picture.

images.jpg

Where is the beautiful flower? All I see is the missing aspects of it! I’m longing for every moment of distraction, my book writing, my games, my reading, talking to my friends, because the problems that are there are not being fixed and not fast enough. They are not even really beginning to be fixed because I’m stuck in a constant state of anxiety. I’m constantly waiting for the next screw up since that is all that appears to happen and all I have seen in the past.

As a person who is used to showing grace and mercy often, this is causing me great cognitive dissonance, but the trending information I have received from the situation has caused me so much distress I can’t help but feel this anxiety and depression now. Moreover, I have lost faith because there has been little to no attempt to show habitual change, compromise, and effort to reduce my anxiety from the parties involved.

The biggest problem is that I believe I have already dealt with/ stayed too long in the situation letting it reach the apex where I have become someone I don’t like being, a person I used to be. Now I have agreed to try longer at least 3 more months to see if this can be resolved yet  have no idea if I can control my emotions or actions long enough to even be be fair (not that anyone would fault me if I was not).

I will be speaking to my therapist about this today but I believe I have a good idea of what she will say about this…

Write it Now 5 Demo…

So I still have not officially bought the software yet but there is a downloadable demo that you can interact with and try and I have been using it and I have started my first book. I am excited. Usually I am amazing at coming up with a title and small things like that and letting it guide me but that part is still a bit hazy. I have a makeshift one for now that is okay. The Happy Healthy Kiwi asked me for more info on this software and as I have started writing here it is.

The book that I have started writing is different than what I had first expected to begin writing. It may change a few more times before I land on exactly what I want it to be. But that’s ok to. I truly want to create a book that is a series so that people can become invested in the characters and are interested in what happens to them. So I have to be creative and careful not ot make too many definitive ‘ENDS’ in my book. I am so used to writing things that have an ending and here my goal is to leave things somewhat open for so that there is more story to tell later on.

I am enjoying the depth of the Write It Now program and the demo definitely has quite a bit to explore and play with. They offer it at $59.95 to buy it and download immediately or $69.95 for those interested so that you can get the CD version with the 300 page manual. If you download the demo you can upgrade to the full version by buying it online and it will unlock on the features once you enter the unlock codes that will be emailed to you since you have literally downloaded the actual thing and features are actually just locked. It’s really cool so far. I’m enjoying it what I can so far. Moreover, you can use it on multiple PC’s. It has a FAQ section so get you read on. It is awesome so far! Even the demo has me speechless!

 

Hypnosis…I like it!

It was the most unusual feeling to me and I looked forward to it more than most people would look forward to the unknown. I guess I enjoy the thought of of what could be and the fun of how it could alter my life for the better. I was excited and could hardly believe the day was here last Friday. When the time came for it I could hardly believe that there was not some force in my way trying to stop me…of course there was but I was determined to beat it.

I got to the office and my therapist looked as if she had been crying or rubbing her eyes nonstop. She seemed to me as if she was the one that may have needed therapy that day. I was watching her to see if she would wipe her eyes, but no.However, she was fidgeting a bit it seemed.

She came in and seemed to completely change her whole demeanor and take a deep breathe and get to business. I liked it. Though I knew she could tell I was observing her she also knew that I was there for a service and that we were not there to be ‘friends’ but to be a client/ patient relationship that may be friendly. This is one line unlike my personal trainer relationship, I did not want to alter or blur.

So I when she began the session we talked about the ‘other’ therapist and he not so professional tactics and then a bit more of background and then what goals we had for my future before starting my hypnosis session.

Then she had me switch to the recliner and turned on my recorder so I could listen to this as a reaffirming message before bed each day for the next month. I closed my eyes and her voice became a firm melodic tone that narrated my journey into the multifaceted layers of my unconscious. At first I panicked. When she said find your happy place I was like well duh, it’s always the beach or someplace with water, but then, I panicked because as she continued to describe how I should feel in this place (the sun on face and so forth) I LOST IT. I was upset because I could no longer feel the sun or imagine it or anything. I was upset. I panicked because I felt like she was still going on this journey without me. I was totally starting to unravel.

Then I was like focus! She just said that your mind may wonder and that’s ok. PHEW. SO! Then I was like keep listening to her voice and breathe. Then she continued and would say calming things that helped me relax even more and counting at times explaining how sometimes it would take me 100-fold deeper into relaxation or to that effect. Or using symbolization saying a taking a yard stick where 36 is the highest level slide down to 1 and be to sink further into your subconscious. Or even I say 10 you will be on the bottom step…and so on.

Each time I would feel myself slip deeper into a ‘sleep’ but not sleep like I was sleeping just like when you sleep in a dream (almost like the movie inception). My limbs felt heavier and I did not want to lift them, the first time it happened when in her office I was unsure if I could lift them…but at home I realized that I could (I just really did not want to that deep in my sub/unconsciousness). Your limbs may or may not tingle…mine did but not tingle like they were numb but tingle like they you could feel the blood rushing through the your hands and feet like a light throbbing or heartbeat pulsing in those areas but not painful.

She stuck in words of affirmation in the hypnosis to help me become more confident in ‘speaking’ to my stress and anxiety. Telling it to go away and and how to control it. It ended with her counting me out of the hypnosis or having the option to go straight into a deeper sleep (actual sleep). I have enjoyed it thus far. However, the big drawback to hypnosis is that even though I am learning to apply it sub/unconsciously, I am only 3 days in. When some things happen right now I am still going to LOSE IT. For example, when your husband pulls stunts that he KNOWS triggers your anxiety and then he gets caught for it…I’m not sure that even if I was a master in Hypnosis I would be able to handle somethings as easily but seriously, let me not me a wee babe in ti training when ya act like  dweeb!