So my dad always has said to me on more than one occasion I need to learn to take a compliment. My mom MAY have mentioned the same thing, LOL. However, you realize it a bit more when a male says it to you. It’s like, “DANG, am I really that uncomfortable about it?” and they answer is YES, Yes I am!
I realized the more I pay attention to it when people pay me a compliment that I do not even know how to respond. My dad says I should just say thank you. I BLUSH…I actually friggin blush. Until I graduated from college I never blushed a day in durn life. I can bust my butt in front of a ton of people and not care, but in the last few years I have found a new sense of GIRLIE embarrassment. WHERE do you come from and go back to whence you came you foul beast.
I was out the other night and I was being paid a barrage of compliments and the cashier in front of me thought it was hilarious and I kept trying to ignore what was happening around me and could not. I was noticeably uncomfortable and trying to laugh it off and she GIGGLED. I was like she will be telling her friends about this later. I nearly ran out of the store biting my bottom lips so hard half smiling but not really sure what to do. I was so red it was ridiculous yet confused that the situation really just happened.
I guess the issue is that I have always found myself to be just be ME. a bit tom boyish and invisible. I never brought much attention to myself and when I started bringing attention to myself in later years it was a comedian and leader not as someone who was attractive. Even during the moments I felt like tooting my own horn, it was only momentary. I definitely do not feel like that right now during all my weight fluctuations from steroids and just before the surgery. I just feel like me and I’m okay with that. I do not bring attention to me but man apparently the attention keeps coming. I will say I’m not use to it and I’m sorry dad, I cannot just get on board with PRETTY just like that. I’ve never been vain or anything so to know people are very into me and more than one person is so foreign to me.
However, my friends are definitely making sure I get use to the idea. They told me that I am beautiful inside and out and that’s why they love me and I should get use to it. That omission of people not telling me how I look made me humble and that’s good. However, I need to know now they said (not sure why now is any different than before).
I prefer we keep the secret like superwoman…Let it be my superpower or something, LOL.
Myasthenia Gravis 