Together in all my awkwardness

So there is a level of comfort we all have in dating people right? I mean you can’t have all the good glamorous perfection right?

I don’t have many moments like this people! I mean my hair is curly and can be cute IF it was that way the night before and I’m like

but otherwise it’s everywhere and my actuality is more

and on a really bad day

I mean Philly says nothing is more attractive than a woman with confidence so I throw my confidence on and we go out!

we go out to eat and I keep my stride going while doing the unspeakable random things that drive him crazy like being indecisive about what I want to eat (and he may be starving by this point or he would rather be doing something else but doesn’t want to say)

When we decide on a place I try to get him to try something new. He does it about 25% of the time. Still pretty proud. I order something that ALWAYS manages to embarrass me. Not because I cant pronounce it but because it always does something to me. Food attacks me in some way. Because of my MG it will cause problems with my mouth. It is either too spicy, to tough, to thick, or something. I have learned to adapt but in the process I have not learned how to be as smooth as I would like. At least in my mind. My friends and family have not picked up on it but PHILLY sees SOME things and we laugh way to hard sometimes.

Point and case:

A burger was way to big. It was a delicious burger but it had a million topping and was a mile high and there was too much bread. SO I had to cut the burger up. It also had a ton of lettuce. It had a ton of sauce and other things on it. This is a very quiet restaurant I love and it was his first time going. I called myself being sly and using the lettuce to wipe my mouth as the fork went in my mouth until the waitress could come back and I could ask for more napkins. I have done this maneuver before but I know he saw it as he giggled.

For once I didn’t care, I was just praying the other people in the restaurant didn’t see it. I have given up being so smooth in front in him

we are just at a different level there are days of cuddle-watch-a-movie, or

he has been told I do these things but he never feels it when I do it, I’m gonna start recording it, I do all sorts of silly stuff and his reactions are funny and then there are days of

or at least in my mind it went that way, in his mind he will say it was more like

and maybe

what can I say…I get a lil cranky when I am sleepy or a few things are bothering me at once. Philly is quickly learning to not let me go to long bottled up or it goes bad for everyone. If I am ‘shut down’ when I am trying to tell you something then I will hold it back for a bit but eventually I will tell you and it will come out when you least want to hear it no matter right the moment.

But all in all he digs my awkwardness it makes him laugh he fits right into #teamweird

 

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