Easter in November

I finally did it. I finally have a date for my thymectomy set in NOV.  In 2.5 months I will be doing something that nearly terrified me to hear when I was first diagnosed back in October 2013. I thought since I did not have a thymoma there was no need and that they should try all non-invasive methods first. I mean I had just been diagnosed for Pete’s sake. I had barely even been on any medication and had hardly felt informed enough to make an informed decision at that time.

Fast forward 2.5 years.

I barely heard more talk about a thymectomy until I brought up the subject of children. Then It was on the table again. I then had to wait what seemed like an immensely long time on a waiting list to see a specialist  neurologist in Myasthenia Gravis just to talk about how I could safely bare children with this disorder.

That wait took 8 months. August 2016.That’s when the thymectomy came back on the table.

I was all for it this time because I had been through nearly every treatment they had for MG now. They had told me what would and would not work for me over the last 3 years and what I was a candidate for and so forth. The doctors all knew me and has seen me countless times and knew, just as I did what my body could handle. My meds had been adjusted numerous times and after being on a cocktail that seem to keep me stable along with maintenance plasma exchange I still am only getting by.

The doctors believe that this surgery could definitely improve my quality of life and they have successfully performed it many times using the Davinci robot. I am both excited and nervous.

Having gone through a divorce recently I had already decided before that divorce that I still wanted children even if it was not with that man. I wanted them in the future even if I had to be artificially inseminated, ask a friend, find a new relationship, or even adopt. But my goal and hope was to try and have one of my own.

Going into this surgery, I am doing it completely for my own quality of life! However, we all need some additional positive things to hold on to going into life changing moments…Sometimes it’s the idea that a loved one/ family is waiting for you when you come out of the surgery, an event (like a wedding is coming up), or that you need them. Whatever the reason you hold on to those moments because it makes you feel safe, calmer, distracted, and gives you a reason to fight is somethings dare I say goes wrong.

I call those moments Easter eggs because they are the happy moments you plan or want to get back to in life. It’s like knowing on Thursday knowing you are going to your favorite restaurant with your best friend whom you haven’t seen in months due to your schedule for lunch. On Monday no matter how crappy the week you look forward to your little hidden gem because it may be buried under leads of stress, negativity, traffic, paperwork, bosses yelling, babies crying, missed flights, and marital spats, but that is a breath of fresh air in the midst of your week.

I am looking for a few Easter eggs right now for my surgery. I feel like I need more than one.

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