Sometimes I just sit and ponder…okay all the time, LOL. I daydream like it’s my job and one day I hope it will be. I hope I can completely convert to writing and people paying me to read about my craziness. Not here of course because I always want my blog to be free. I want people to always have some area where they can ‘easily’ access my thoughts.
Anyways, I sit and ponder aging. Sometimes it scares me to think I am aging and have yet to accomplish the things I want to in life. But then I think about all the famous and not so famous people who were well into life, well into their 30s, 40s, 50s and so on before they accomplished the fame that we know them for today. I also think about the lifespan that we have today compared to decades and centuries ago. Though no one is promised tomorrow or even the next second, I have time create these things as long as I am working toward them and not procrastinating upon them.
My great grandfather is 92 years old and acts and moves much like a 20 year old. My great aunt is in her late 60s and NOT one of my friends believes me when I say it. They looked at her picture from this weekend from a commencement ceremony for a reunion and they said she looks like she is in her late 30s or mid 40s at best. When I tell her this she laughs and says they are too kind but they are your friends, they have to say that…She has no idea…my friends can be harsh and very honest, LOL. They have properly aged many in my family and even over aged a few.
A lot of it has to do with the confidence one has too though. It is exuded in the way we walk, talk, and act daily. I learned that when my confidence is highest I could be in the worst outfit imaginable to me and yet no one notices because I feel like a million bucks and I’m happy and my skin glows and I walk like it’s a new trending outfit despite the despair of the outfit sometimes, LOL.
Sometimes a new outfit can do this, a new hairdo, or glasses, but for me I have learned that just owning your age but not looking is the new confidence. By learning to own a less stressful lifestyle and enjoying life I can have this! I want to be like the many examples I see in my family. My family and friends keep me young and I am learning to let go of my fear when it comes to aging!
Why is that when we hit our 30’s we feel like we are OLD? I mean like life is already 1/2 over. We know that is not likely the case, but we feel like it. We do not think like the young person we we once were because we have so many responsibilities and that has a lot to do with it, but those responsibilities feel like weight.
So, then outside of paying bills, taking care of house, spouse, kids, and working…WHY are we so beat up? I mean really, why do we feel like we have been hit by a truck when in actuality we were way worse to our bodies when we were younger? We use to abuse our bodies barely getting any sleep, eating unhealthy junk food, drinking, studying at all hours of the night, hanging out with friends, and then when no one was watching even trying those new fads like p90x, tanning, the atkins diet, smoking, adventure races, and so on. Not all of these things are bad but they do put a great strain on the body over time.
Yet when we hit our 30’s it’s like it catches up to us like a person holding us on a leash and we just finally got to the end of that leash.
We feel every joint hurting, we are reminded of every dumb thing we did, and we start repeating all the things our parents use to say to us even if we don’t have kids. You wonder when you became your parents. Like seriously, you get up some mornings and sit on the side of your bed and just pray that you get through the day because you just need that. Not because you are depressed or sad but because you feel RUNDOWN, lol. You feel old! I seriously get up some days and just shake my head and say dang where did the time go. I was in such a rush to get older and now I’m older and I just want to be 5 years younger, lol.
Art by Leonid Afremov
A Reflection of Love
Warm wrinkles whispering to one another as they sit on the park bench
The autumn air nipping at their faces and she turns her collar up and turns toward him
Fussing over his buttons as he looks at her in mock agitation
How he hates for her to fuss over him in public
The light catches her hair and though it has turned white there are still hints of the beautiful hues of old in it
The light touches her face and eyes and gives her the warm glow that reminds him of why he fell in love with her
The pure quizzical look she gives everything
How everything seems so sweet, new and exciting
How much love there is to be had and how warm and cozy live is with her
All these things he could see reflecting back in her eyes as he watched her
so much to be said in the silence
Sitting across from them I can only wonder,
Do we mirror?