Pushing to far or not?

I have to say that lately I have been doing a bit too much in terms of physical strength versus what I have to give in terms of my MG. I have overdoing it quite a bit lately and though I know this is not a good thing knowing that unlike most people I have no reserve and once I deplete early in the day I could seriously damage and land myself in the hospital if I go TOO far…I push anyway.

Some people ask why. Well it is not always a simple clear cut and dry answer. sometimes it is because I am frustrated and I am tired of waiting on others to do things that they say they are going to do (their job/ responsibility) and do not so I just do it.


I can’t help it sometimes, it’s just my type A personality taking over!

Sometimes it is because I really just want to feel normal and hang out with friends and family but my body really was not up for it and I should have been at home resting or sleeping instead. But because I have spent so much time between school, work, and now this disorder being missing over the years I just want to be part of my family and friends again. (However, I learned with some of those people, this feeling is not a 2-way street and they are just trying to make me feel guilty for that time away though they had made little or NO effort since).

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Other times I push myself because I need to try to make new boundaries and see if I have improved any with my Myasthenia Gravis. I never want to become complacent with it. I want to see if I can eventually go years without treatment if possible until they can find a cure.

Then there are the rare occasions like now, where medical experts will not allow me to get treatment and want to ‘stress’ me a bit and go on like normal so they can run tests (single fiber EMG) on me. They even wanted me to stop several medications before seeing them; however, I told them with my set of symptoms my mestinon could not be stopped before hand without a plex treatment having occurred in the last month in this heat. I mean I have been sucking on my inhaler like it was oxygen the last 3 days.

More so, since I have to stress myself anyway and cannot get treatment yet until afterwards we might as well make it count because I do not want to wait to do extra over exerting things for after treatment occurs and ‘ruin’ the purpose of my treatment since I do not plan on getting another for 3-5 months after that. So we are rearranging our house now and doing ‘spring cleaning’. It’s hard and I am probably doing more than I should faster than I should but I am tired of looking at the clutter and mess and though it is not all mine and he is kind of helping as men do

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Ok he’s not this bad but you get the idea…

I have to spearhead this or it will not get done before the treatment and my house will never look the way I want it.


Cleaning Diaries: Part II

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Have you ever found yourself doing something you did not really want to do but you know you had an obligation to do and so you zoned out to do it? Like you completely went into autopilot mode to get it done and if someone looked you in the portals of your soul known as your eyes it would like like a reptiles when it gets close to hitting an object and that protective lens shields them.


But suddenly there is the smell or sight of something so horrid that brings you out of that trance that you almost wretch in utter bewilderment. You think why couldn’t I be immune to the filth? But then you say because I am human and these creatures I am cleaning up behind are from some great unknown and undiscovered colony teeming with bacteria.

I mean when they asked me to clean the fridge weekly, I was glad it was during my training and my trainer was able to tell them it was not currently part of ‘our’ duties and that she could email my operations manager if they wanted that added or done on the side. The like to ask for things to be done for free constantly to see if I will do it. Moreover, instead of saying you do a great job EVER to my boss…the one time I got a complaint it was to ask if the ‘cleaning person’ had been in (which they knew they had from the trash being put out and the recycling being gone and the make-up being removed from their phones) She the says well we have had a lot dead worms by the door for a week and all they had to do was vacuum them up.

My first thought was EWWWW! Then I was like wait this was the hall that the light has been out that they refused to fix and I cannot see down. So but I refused to make excuses to my boss and I just told him I would do better next time. I asked her to please replace the lights and still did not make an excuse and she did so.

But what I really want to say again was EWW and why would you let that go that long…Then she said it was because of all the rain…Then you tell me how to do my job…but really it’s not all I had to do I do not have the tools to do all that. There is no crevice device on my vacuum which I am sure she knows and could care less. Moreover, I also have to clean your whole building and be pest control for your VERY pest infested building. Which I showed in Cleaning Diaries: Part I.

They have spiders, lady bugs, 2-3 types of beetles, millipedes, and 2-3 other types of bugs I have yet to ID. Plus a few other flying things. Some of these things are purely because the building is set near the woods but some of it is because the place is not secure (properly enclosed) and clean. If I am only there 3 days a week and people are there 5 days a week but can be there 7 days a week and leave whole sinks full of dishes, fridges of rotting food that smell up the entire floor, and open food and drinks at/ on desks every day for days it’s no wonder!

If my boss or manager cleans behind me and reprimands me I am not upset because they catch things before the business does and they are looking out for the companies best interest for repeat business and to prevent possible issues. Moreover, they want us to continue to look the best in their eyes. Furthermore, they also want make sure we are doing our jobs and they know what we should be doing, what we are capable of and how to do the jobs so I do not take offense because they do the jobs themselves. But it can definitely be hard taking criticism of any kind from a person who probably has never professionally cleaned behind ANYONE. Cleaning behind your children is not enough. You need to see and clean behind more STRANGERS to get the gravity of how this works. To truly understand why this can truly be rewarding and hard to deal with at times.

It’s rewarding because you get a glimpse into other people’s lives. You see people who are truly devoted to their families. Some to God. Some to art. You see the culture and the love they share by the care they have taken to place things just right on their desks, walls, and screensavers. They really want to have a piece of their live with them at work to keep them centered. Then you see those who just want to ‘show’ that’s who they are but do not really mean it. Then you have those who take the very neutral or plain approach and have nothing on their desk and either just want to focus or just want to e very direct and so forth. Either way it works for them. I really like to observe as I clean. You may say you shouldn’t have all this time to observe but when you do it 3 times a week for months you notice a little something each time until you see it ‘all’ at each area. You do not stand at each area and just take it in. And if you get an occasion to talk to someone for a split second then that can be just as rewarding sometimes. Many times it makes me want to take care of them that much more because you have made a connection with them.

I do enjoy cleaning though I do not always choose to do it as often as I have to do it for my part-time job, lol. At least I know it is something I can easily do and I am obviously good at it.


So one my side hustles is cleaning corporate buildings on the side. It’s a pretty good gig. However, as with any job there are things that just make you want to scream or scratch your head. I have been trying to find ways to relieve my stress from this job without losing this job because it is a pretty good little side gig that I have done in the past with my dad when I was younger and I find it fairly easy though it can be more than it is worth some days.


Let me first start with saying that my parents always taught me that even if there is hired help you still clean up behind yourself and do not expect anyone else to do it. Now with that said in office buildings and such the reason they contract out for help is because it is not proper to ask employees to be responsible for cleaning blinds, windows, vacuum floors, etc… However, some things we as adults need to take responsibility for!!!

When you get to work and more than half the people are still there…yet they say you can enter after a certain hour. Well that’s all well and good but it is a bit hard to clean the men’s restroom when they keep walking in on you and already pulling at their zippers and half of them not even attempting to acknowledge that you are in there, a female, or would rather NOT see them relieve themselves!!! UGH! I run out of there dang near screaming each time like no way buddy this ain’t my cup of tea!

Then there seems to be a SERIAL POOPER. Sorry no other way to put that! But who poops on the seat, the back of the water tank, and everywhere in between! I’m sure everyone in the office knows who this person is too.

Then there is the I can’t seem to get my trash in the trash can people…I mean you have a personal trash can at your desk that is about 16in tall and a foot wide and you cannot seem to hit it. Then you see the trash on the floor because it’s OBVIOUS and you just leave it. I’m like, “so you just gonna leave both empty bags of chips, that tissue, and all those hershey kiss wrappers that seem to be all over the entire workplace on the floor not even NEAR the trashcan.

Then you go in the break room and see sinks of dishes which thankfully is not part of my job and they have a dishwasher.


Why aren’t you using it? Moreover, you still expect me to scrub the sink underneath it, which still means touching and moving all your dishes and then replacing them. Seriously!

How does that make your workplace look better, or really smell better since the dirty dishes are still there sometimes for the entire week? Then you wonder why you have all sorts of critters in your buildings…Let me interjects and say it’s not purely because of all the nature around you. Some of these critters I have never seen in my life and look like something out of an alien movie.

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I mean what is that? Will it impregnant the children of my unborn if I were to get pregnant? I swear it is looking for a host! There are only like 4 women in this whole office…I’m just saying!

I think I will keep my headphones in and my mouth closed and I may even stick nose plug on just in case! I mean I already wear 3x shirts (so the sleeves are longer) or long sleeve shirts, pants, gloves, and sometimes a hat so my skin does not come into contact with anything there. Some people have their desks cleared/cleaned and ready for me (even if only once a week so I can wipe it down), some clean other’s messes trying to stack dishes (they obviously didn’t use 5 cups). The poor admins must be responsible for some of this I know especially in common areas like the break rooms and the meeting rooms. I can tell the few who are/were raised with common sense and responsibility; but overall, I have learned that when given the opportunity, PEOPLE ARE GROSS!

*Stay tuned for the next episode part II has some other interesting topics you won’t want to miss!