Charging the Creative Mind Back Up


What do you see in the picture above? Is it an alien life form? A strange light or substance out in space? Some new life form found in the vast depths of our oceans? Or a child’s drawing perhaps?

You would be wrong on all counts!

It’s the neural synapses within the brain magnified greatly to show the activity within the brain. So let’s literally charge the brain!

So I consider myself very creative and imaginative. I have always found myself to be a big dreamer and over the years I have let that become a bit muted. I think sometimes that adulthood and corporate life can do that to you. The dull humdrums can do that to anyone, but it is our duty as dreamers and creative believers to find ways to break from that reality and shake things up. To keep ourselves from feeling chained down and ready to burst.

I get overly anxious and feel as if I am stuck too often and think why is this happening and I know it is not because I have a disorder that is ‘holding me back’ but because I have allowed excuses to form on why I cannot enjoy new and alternate forms of things in my spare time that my disorder has nothing to do with. I let people and thoughts hold me back.

This is not who I am, but what I have become because I started ‘caring’ what others thought of me. Thinking, ‘what will he/she think if I go and do this?” or “wear that?” or “if I just what if I went to this event?” But I just do not care anymore! I am who I am and here to enhance my learning, love, excitement about life and love for myself, family, and live. Just because people do not think it is “Christian enough” for them tough cookies because I that is between me and God and honestly people twist the Bible so much that most of the things they say I shouldn’t do over the years I learned was a crock! I was just missing out for no reason at all.

I must do what makes me happy, I have a pretty good moral compass and if I feel bad, guilty about it chances are that it is wrong and I should stop it or will repent for it. I know when too much is too much. Until then I have got to begin anew. For me the ‘new’ started with all my great news Monday at my doctor’s visit and will continue with my Trip to Europe in 2 weeks. As well as the much needed days off I hope to have sprinkled in here and there since I have vacation accrued that I must take before the end of the year since we are moving to a new PTO structure next year within my organization. Again, change is good, I refuse to think of it any other way. As I eat with my 4 prong for that just became a 3 prong one, LOL. At least I didn’t suck it down my throat!

My No Sew Fleece Blanket

20160326_21491920160326_215025 20160326_214955

Above are the different stages in which I was creating but this is my blanket.

So as I promised my first project is done! I did the no sew blanket this weekend and it came out very well if I do say so myself…and I do, LOL. My husband also wanted one and for once I refused to make him one  but knowing that he was the person he (always wanting something that I had, luxury wise as well) I bought him some material too). Then I made him make one with me.

I forgot to take pictures of his (mainly because he took two days to finish his and I did mine in less than 2 hours). If I had not bought him the materials or did the project for him he would not respect the blanket and have the same sense of accomplishment he later had or the new skill he learned which he later appreciated though he may never make another. He can show someone else how to make or start one. I try to do things like this with him in effort to not only spend time with him but because I know that he will have an empowered sense of accomplishment when he is done and I am usually right about these things when it comes to him. He danced around like a little kid when he was done and spun it around and walked around the house like it was a banner instead of a blanket showcasing it as if I was not there with him while he was making it. I could see the pride.

Whether he would be embarrassed or not to show his friends I doubt because I heard him down play it to them but he definitely told them, LOL. He was proud but did not want to lose his MAN card. It was after all arts and crafts. I also wanted to show him such a skill because not everything has to be so intense and hard that you have to buy a ton of tools and take years to master. I wanted to prove that if I was gone or something happened and I could not use my hands he could still do something for our children that they could be proud of as well and be utilized not just a showpiece.

Moreover, the whole experience helped him see how important it is to choose wisely what you do while making such a project. He had to go into the store, choose his fabrics carefully which took so great thought and time as we only want ed anti-pill fleece and there were many patterns. He and I had to choose between if we wanted a print/pattern on both sides or one side pattern/print and solid on the other. we decided on the later for costs. Then we had to learn about how the store measured and cut fabric (by the yard not by the sq ft). After that I had to decided if I wanted to buy the additional and VERY optional project supplies like a cutting mat and rotary scissors and a fiberglass tape measure. I did not. I had a fiberglass tape measure in my sewing kit at home, and after watching her cut with her scissors using two different pairs I realized I could use the ones that came in my sewing kit as well. They worked perfectly. I could sharpen my other regular scissors for my husband to use for his blanket if they needed it. Then was the self healing mat, but it was only needed if you used the rotary scissors which I did not so I was good.

I was excited and happy. We left the fabric store (Jo Ann’s but you could use Walmart as well) and went to dinner and then went home and started our projects. I will tell you now if you are a beginner and you are starting this project just watch a youtube video if you are a bit confused on how things work and choose the style you like as far as how to make your knots. As far as how far to cut the initial corners 5in or 7in honestly it’s just so that it’s uniformed and has good spacing. 5in was fine but if you have really thick fleece you may want to do 7in so that you can easily tie you fleece.

Moreover, they say measure and cut 1in fringe strips for your ‘ties/knots’ I eye balled mine and my husband and I tied as we went. We decided that we did not want to wait until the very end and try to tie all those knots. We also tried pinning (me pinning my blanket to keep it matched and together while working on it and my husband NOT pinning his). I liked pinning mine since my husband actually stepped on mine early on before I pinned mine and messed up my matching while I was cutting/ trimming my corners and made me gouge 2 of my sides. I was able to fix it but from then on I pinned it and made him WALK AROUND unless he wanted pins in he bare feet.

Be prepared to spend more time than the recommended 1-2 hours on this as a beginner if this is your first project ever because you will be a bit slower at tying your fringe knots at first until you get into a rhythm, and if you have a lot of excess trim to cut off like I did from how the material is made (it’s called selvage). Moreover, do not be anxious about mistakes, anything you do can be ‘undone with this project or changed to looked like you meant to do it. If you accidentally cut off a whole fringe then maybe you can cut off every other or every 5 fringe or every 10th one and make a pattern out of it. No one has to know you did it by accident or you can simply tie the next fringe over together tighter much like the the way the corner fringe knots look (though you will have a little pucker if you did this a few times around the whole blanket you could get a very unique a cute blanket).

Moreover, if you have arthritis or chronic issues you may have to take breaks because of bending over or the tying of the knots so don’t worry about it. My hands started to cramp a little in the middle so I took a small break and then I was good. My husbands hands ever cramped and he has no issues so just be mindful of the actions, it should be fun not forced!



HOPE: Power or Danger


I have learned in my life that HOPE can be one of the most powerful things in this world. When you give someone HOPE you have truly given them the seed of something that can be wonderfully amazing or horribly tragic.

When you give someone HOPE that needs it in a time of tragedy then it can be the most healing and amazing thing ever. It can help them overcome most anything and they can excel and use this power to put all their energy, pain, and efforts into positive and prolific movements. They can create unique establishments that resolve issues that have never been solved because they have been moved by HOPE. They can take on projects that will one day become the next telephone, cure for hepatitis, heart surgery, and so on because they cannot stand to see one more person say it cannot be done or watch one more person die.

However, HOPE can have the opposite and most dangerous effect for people who are not worthy. In domestic and abusive relationships the spouse who is not hopeful will watch and the hopeful one is the one who is abusive. They know you will not leave and they get more emboldened by this because each time you stay after the first initial encounters you prove that they have the upper hand. If they do it one time they are likely to continue because without help (professional help) they cannot control themselves. The are left unchecked and they realize you are not going anywhere. They know you will allow them to disrespect you. You will allow them to say whatever, whenever, and do whatever because at the end of the day all your threats are empty. You will not go anywhere, you will not do anything. Even if you do time and time again you just take them back. They have HOPE. You gave it to them without even knowing it; by your actions. They saw the trend. So they get comfortable and until you finally break it and it does not happen anymore they will not believe you.

Remember, abuse happens any many forms, physically, mentally, emotionally, and verbally to name a few. When someone understands that you have truly had enough, they will start to waver in their HOPE, but only when you break the cycle. Prove you mean business, get a circle of protection and help. Show them you are not going to stand for it. I know this is easier said than done especially if you have let it happen for so long. I know that there was a human person in there you loved at one point and some of you may want to salvage the relationship. So this will take time if you choose to, but that requires outside help because obviously you were/ are not able to do it alone. So get that help, getting help offers you HOPE. That gives you power and diminishes theirs over you. We all deserve to have control in our lives and when you feel  you have none at all, this is a horrible feeling. When you lose the ability to feel creative, ambitious, and compassionate, you need to regain your HOPE!


My FOOD Epiphany


So my sister is always telling me how she has baked a concoction (her words not mine) that tasted pretty good. I believed her. I mean though my sister is single, she lived for a while with my parents before moving out on her own after graduating form grad school as did I. And you learn two things from that experience; 1) how to survive on your own (save your money and be responsible so you can be on your own) and 2) how to make more than 4 dishes once you leave, LMBO. Because my parents love their staples. They have no problem eating the same things but it will drive you crazy if you have an adventurous palate. I had to learn how to cook. My parents teach you basics, but they laugh at some of the things I desired to cook. I became way to adventurous for them (my mom’s skin crawls when she thinks of some of the things I eat, lol). All I will say is I love Andrew Zimmern’s Bizzare Foods on Travel Network. I try things just  because he says you must!

After I learned how to cook, I had to learn how to buy the proper utensils to make it happen easier and to make it look presentable. These are the things I am now teaching my older sister. She definitely has the cooking adventurously thing down, but now she has to learn how to buy the right supplies to make things easier on herself and her dishes. Sometimes you have to swap out (and slowly over time if money is an issue) your dishes to higher quality ones as well or buy additional things that may help like parchment paper so you do not have to chisel your goodies off your baking sheet and nibble on them piece by piece, LOL. She said they were yummy but when you cannot take a picture and they did not look like the yummy balls you planned for and then you had to chisel and chip them to snack on them I sort of giggled because it reminded me of my earlier projects.

I was determined to eat them because regardless of how they looked, they tasted WONDERFUL. I just could not take one picture because they were surely pinterest fails in that looks department. So she asked me, how do you make your baked goodies? She asked if I just followed the recipes? I said yes at first then I thought about it and said no, actually I don’t. I always fudge it. I always either do double with a ‘bump’ (I may add an extra pinch or splash of everything –no actual measurement just literally another pinch or splash here and there until I am happy) or eyeball certain ingredients that I believe would make the recipe better. So if I want it to look like the pinterest picture and to still taste good I try to add equal parts of everything even if I’m only eyeballing it but sometimes I may add a bit more flavor of something I like just to give it a punch.

So far I guess you can call it luck but the trick it tasting your food. Get in there. Smell it and taste it while it’s going if you can. The more you cook and bake the more you will become familiar with measurements and what they look like and with how certain smells/ flavors mingle and what you feel you would like to taste and create. This will help you find or add ingredients accordingly. I mean there are times I do not have something and I will either leave it out or substitute it with somethings random and it works out perfectly and my husband never knows, LOL. I even sneak in things he swears he doesn’t eat (he’s not allergic, he just doesn’t like the taste he says). It’s hilarious. That’s the sign of a good cook.