I am a naturally energized woman. It just comes out of nowhere. When I think I have nothing left my second wind comes. Then when that disappears, welp I somehow get a third and fourth. I know it’s a strange thing to say since by having a chronic disorder and an autoimmune disorder I should be whining about how tired I am and never having enough energy but I do somehow always manage to get by. I know this is nothing but my faith in God that gets me there though because there are days like yesterday that I should NOT have been able to finish the day without every symptom I have flaring up and raising every alarm and me just passing out.
I had a 20+ hour day and was so active in the day that my “pacer” app hit new records for me and I was not even shocked. I was actually elated. My boss at my part-time job even freaked out because I was not at my second job at my usual time though and he thought I was not coming in (though I do not have to be there right at 6p as long as I am before 2am) to get my few hours in. He apologized for the freak out since I am always god at calling AND texting to make sure someone gets my message by noon on any day I am not going to be in. I did not need the apology because I understand that in his position it probably has happened many times from other employees. He was just doing his job and checking just in the off chance something happened and he needed to send someone to fill my position last night. When you have worked with a ton of part-timers you understand the mentality and you do not mind it, in fact you admire and appreciate his efficiency and dedication especially at 8:13p.
Yesterday, I woke up at 4a worked my full-time job until 1:30p. Then went grocery shopping and put those away at home. Then got to the dentist office 10 minutes late, LOL. But I knew that it was easier when it was less busy at that time than fighting the after work crowd. I got an excellent report by the way at the dentist better than I had in a while since they always say my gums are inflamed and this time they were excellent.
Then I left there and went to the hospital to sit with my grandmother who had just had hip replacement surgery that morning. She got out of surgery around 3. By the time I get there at 4:30p physical therapy is there rubbing her legs and minutes later she is up and walking for the first time since her surgery which she literally just got back from. I was amazed and proud. She was doing great, such a trooper. I sat with her and kept her company and talked with her nurses and made sure I got any information needed for my mom and aunt who would be with her more often than I for the next couple of weeks during her recovery.
I left at 7:50 and grabbed dinner and put gas in my car. Then went to my part-time job. called my boss who called mere minutes before that with the freaked out to ensure I was looking at the work phone to check in and did just that. I cleaned my building and left work. I went home and walked through the door at 10:55p and then sagged with the weight of the day finally. It had hit me all at once. I was glad that my ankles had not swollen to grapefruit size again. It told me that it was in fact going off my migraine meds for those 3 days that did me in last week. They were a tad swollen but who can blame them for 20+ hours of movement this time. But they didn’t really hurt but the rest of me did. I put my clothes in the wash, got my things together for the next day, and ate what my husband cooked. Then he said GO TO BED in a text, LOL. He was in another room because I was going to sleep with my foot propped up and he didn’t want to snore me out of existence or bother me in any way so he slept in our guest room. I don’t think it took me 20 minutes to fall asleep for once. I was sleep around midnight thankfully.
I woke up this morning and laid there for an hour before being able to move, LOL. It was hard work moving. I knew I overdid it yesterday but what was I to do? I needed to do those things, they are not everyday occurrences, at least not in that sequence. So I borrowed some energy from today and cheated a bit. Needless to say I’m paying a bit for it today. I bought a coffee today. I can count how many times I drink coffee each year. It usually follows a day like yesterday…So there you have it. It’s a latte sort of day with mindless clicking at the keyboard to stay awake, countless to do list pre-made so that I can’t forget what I was doing and stay on task and a I made everything for today on my calendar yesterday or Wednesday because I knew I would be in this mental state. My memory gets bad on days like today thanks to my migraine preventor so I just prepare for it. My to do lists, emails, and client workouts are all set and I get things done when I am alert and able. That way when today comes I seem on my game though I am totally NOT.
Days like today between the mindless clicking on the keyboard I have large lulls of daydreaming, I have switch between project often, and sometimes I have to walk around or read a book or something to keep it together (usually only lasts for about 5-10 minutes at a time) but I know it’s my anxiety getting to me because I need sleep. Today will be a bit worse since my co-worker took off and I have no one to talk to…Fridays in my facility people leave early so it is always a ghost town in here and then without someone in here and I’m feeling like this I am trying to rein in my stir crazy feeling. The anxiety of no sleep feeling bottled up and then wishing I could sleep but being buzzed on coffee is a weird sensation!