funny

Blogger Habits

Posted on by Lady CAS

You are sitting in bed thinking about how you grew up and nicknames and how you got them and how crazy these names sound and how you have basically named everyone around you. How these are badges of honor.

Or the rant about people at work cannot just say certain things and to you they way they do or do certain things with certain expectations and you had some whimsical witty punchline.

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Then there is the ever comical/ or serious moment that happens to you that you have been meaning to tell your blogger community and has just been slipping your mind or you have not had time for and you have wrote or re-wrote the story a million times in your head and yet to actually put it to paper (typed it).

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I know I am not the only one who has this habit. I do this at least once a day when I do not actually blog. I actually talk out loud or nearly talk out loud the blog that I would have written that day. I think sometimes, what a missed opportunity to share with you all. Sometimes I get mad that I cannot remember that awesome punchline that seemed so great and I had perfectly in mind just moments before and could not get to my computer or paper in time. It just leaves me. I give it to you universe.

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It’s like the novelist or poet. I just get so annoyed.

I know this can get better when I am not as stressed and when I just allow this to happen but I also know that with more regular practice like when I first  started blogging this is less of a frequent occurrence. I must get my mojo back.

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Just as I imagined

Posted on by Lady CAS

Have you ever thought about something or made a comment about something and later found it was just how you imagined it would be? I mean like you really thought it out whether in jest or in earnest and found that at some point days, weeks, months, or years later that very idea actually happened the very way you thought or said it would happen.

This happens all the time with me. I feel like this is just me talking things into existence sometimes. However, it makes for some interesting and even funny situations. For example,  when I started working as a part-time cleaner for corporate organizations I noticed that in the men’s restrooms there would always be food wrappers, fruit peelings, and drink containers in it. I was like surely these people are not eating in the bathroom. I mean though this is a small company and it’s not like a normal pubic restroom, the mindset is still that you do not get ‘comfortable’ in a bathroom that is not your private home bathroom, let alone eat in one. Then I was like are these men like holding their *ahem* with one hand and going with the other? I know that’s gross but yea my mind went there since I was in the men’s bathroom.

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Then I tried to give the benefit of the doubt and say well maybe they had just finished it before coming in walking to the bathroom and dropped it in the trash…

But then seeing how gross some of these guys are that I clean behind in their offices and in these restrooms, they probably have no concerns for eating while in the bathroom. Moreover, after reading a blog this morning from a fellow blog (John), I learned that things are sometimes EXACTLY what you were thinking. In his post today he talked He talked about a man who was eating and handling business at the same time.

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But the hilarity of it all had me crying this man is a genius with his writing you must check him out. But the man eating in the bathroom not so much, LOL.

The funny part is I am so blunt and curious about men and their processes in life that I just flat out ask my husband, male friends, and dad, LOL. I just want to know so I can decide what is normal and what is not and what is ‘guy normal’ and what is not, LOL. This way I have an idea when I have a child, though if they have me as a parent they may already be doomed…#teamweird

Appropriate Perception= Brainwashing

Posted on by Lady CAS

I have been working in a corporate environment now for almost 8 years and without even knowing it I have found myself conforming to certain unspoken rules. I have even found myself gawking at those outsiders who broke those rules and laughed later when telling my husband or friends how I couldn’t believe I felt that way. I have been brainwashed! Here are some of the unspoken rules:

  1. Don’t walk on the grass:
  2. No Running
  3. No spaghetti straps or sleeveless tops/ dresses without a cover-up
  4. No really short dresses
  5. No shorts
  6. No hats
  7. No super high heels
  8. No yelling
  9. No brightly colored hair
  10. Many or several piercings/ tattoos in the face/ body that are exposed

Now I am not one to cast judgement usually but when you work in a place like this you tend to find yourself unintentionally conforming to these rules and looking at people odd who do not fit the mold/ standard. There is an appropriate perception of what one should look like in these environments and some of them are necessary because they perpetuate HR issues (such as short dresses or shorts) or safety concerns like really high heels. However, many are just discriminatory and are perpetuated by society. I laughed at some of the unspoken rules because I myself have had tongue piercings in college, used temporary blue paint in my hair for softball games (for my whole head), and I am the proud wearer of 5 tattoos (though they are all on my back- well 1 is on the back of my neck).

At my job when they leased a new company over us a few years ago I almost died when i saw them playing games on the grass. I was like HOW DARE THEY.

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But yes they did CHILE I was done!!!

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Then the  stress from watching people come in from our newly created call center coming in wearing stripper heels and hair dyed every color under the rainbow with naked flesh hanging out everywhere…

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I mean I just can’t seem to pick myself up off the floor honey! But notice I fell out in style.

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But I think some of these women suffer from a far worse fate; they just have to be seen and heard and maybe this is why they are going so far.

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As for the grass thing, once the leased people left we thought people being in the grass would sort of go away. I mean we thought hey why make sidewalks if you were mean to walk in the grass. Then again they did spend lots of time on it and it looked so plush it does sort of make you want to walk through it barefoot.

But then Pokemon Go happened and there went the grass again so oh well, LOL. Screw your rules corporate America.

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Pushing to far or not?

Posted on by Lady CAS

I have to say that lately I have been doing a bit too much in terms of physical strength versus what I have to give in terms of my MG. I have overdoing it quite a bit lately and though I know this is not a good thing knowing that unlike most people I have no reserve and once I deplete early in the day I could seriously damage and land myself in the hospital if I go TOO far…I push anyway.

Some people ask why. Well it is not always a simple clear cut and dry answer. sometimes it is because I am frustrated and I am tired of waiting on others to do things that they say they are going to do (their job/ responsibility) and do not so I just do it.

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I can’t help it sometimes, it’s just my type A personality taking over!

Sometimes it is because I really just want to feel normal and hang out with friends and family but my body really was not up for it and I should have been at home resting or sleeping instead. But because I have spent so much time between school, work, and now this disorder being missing over the years I just want to be part of my family and friends again. (However, I learned with some of those people, this feeling is not a 2-way street and they are just trying to make me feel guilty for that time away though they had made little or NO effort since).

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Other times I push myself because I need to try to make new boundaries and see if I have improved any with my Myasthenia Gravis. I never want to become complacent with it. I want to see if I can eventually go years without treatment if possible until they can find a cure.

Then there are the rare occasions like now, where medical experts will not allow me to get treatment and want to ‘stress’ me a bit and go on like normal so they can run tests (single fiber EMG) on me. They even wanted me to stop several medications before seeing them; however, I told them with my set of symptoms my mestinon could not be stopped before hand without a plex treatment having occurred in the last month in this heat. I mean I have been sucking on my inhaler like it was oxygen the last 3 days.

More so, since I have to stress myself anyway and cannot get treatment yet until afterwards we might as well make it count because I do not want to wait to do extra over exerting things for after treatment occurs and ‘ruin’ the purpose of my treatment since I do not plan on getting another for 3-5 months after that. So we are rearranging our house now and doing ‘spring cleaning’. It’s hard and I am probably doing more than I should faster than I should but I am tired of looking at the clutter and mess and though it is not all mine and he is kind of helping as men do

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Ok he’s not this bad but you get the idea…

I have to spearhead this or it will not get done before the treatment and my house will never look the way I want it.

 

I heard it through the Grapevine

Posted on by Lady CAS

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I always wondered just how a rumor really starts when the intention is truly NOT vicious. I finally learned yesterday. A person who frequents my facility walked in yesterday almost breathless and excited. I was looking at her in great expectations of news coming from her, instead she says, your boss is being induced at soon right? At 10a right (well his wife)?

I was clearly confused because my boss teaching spin class at the moment and has had his phone glued at his waist for days waiting on the call that his wife is going into labor which could be any minute now. But there are no plans to induce yet as her due date was only 2 days ago and yesterday 1 day overdue.

So she saw the confused look on my face and explained that my co-worker had told her that they would be induced at 10a. I was just thinking I highly doubt this, since I knew my boss his staff of 4 a mass text the night before saying no baby yet and that he would be in from 10-6 the next day. Luckily my co-worker walks up as she was saying this and she asks about the baby. He says no I told you the would be IN at 10 because the baby had not come yet.

She then says OOOOOOOH. and tells us about another member that frequents the facility that had their baby over the holiday and leaves. We both stare at each other in amazement trying to figure out how she got he would be induced at 10a from he is coming into work at 10-6 since the baby has not come. Moreover, the information was typed to her so she had time to read it repeatedly and still did not get it right.

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The Audacity…{Part 1}- Funny Moments

Posted on by Lady CAS

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So recently a string of funny moments have been occurring to me that I just must share. How they happen to me at the times that they do I do not even begin to know.

The first one was in passing a bus the other night that had strange animal eyes on the side of if by the name of their mascot I’m assuming called the bearcats. WHAT THE HECK IS A BEARCAT. I mean did they really just run out of scary animals…this animal is seemed made up to me until i researched it. At first I was like it is like the bearillas and mebras we hear about in the wild or jackalopes even, LOL.

Then I found out that the reason I have never heard of it is because the GEEK in me studied animals by their proper names and I remembered something about about a bin…something and looked it up and seeing sports teams and bearcat sparked something and found the durn thing. It’s called a Binturong it’s like a panda. Which I love pandas which is why I remember the proper name (again geek). But they are more docile which made me wonder why a team would want a mascot after them…I guess they are skillful but not very athletic, LOL.

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My parents actually have a full set of encyclopedia’s in their house that I actually use to go through when I was little and geography books (when you get grounded and love to learn it’s not really punishment parents, maybe you should have taken my books away then I would have stopped the first time around, LMBO).

 

My next funny moment came while I was at work listening to my music and cleaning. I was in the zone. I was on autopilot and totally jamming out with my bluetooth headphones in. Then comes a call. I was like man, i should ignore it but it could be important so I took a peek. It was a number I did not recognize and I said well I am working and I need to get this done quickly so I can get home and sleep…But It could be my friend for our outing this weekend…so I called it back….

The person immediately sounded like a recording when answering because she did not even breathe she launched right into her spill:

“Thank you for calling back my name is….with mortgages at an all time ….” I was like huh wait whoa…she was like do you own a home. I was like no I have an apartment I rent and do not call me again. GEESH. She messed up my whole vibe cold calling me and did not even have her facts straight. How she got my number and thought that was ok was beyond me. Most people do not own a home yet and she pulled that at 7:30pm when people would be finishing dinner and putting children to bed if they had any getting ready for bed themselves if they weren’t working 2 jobs, LOL. I fumed about that for about 5 more minutes thinking about calling her back and giving her a piece of my mind. I had to turn my music way up to get back into what I was doing before she cost me my sanity…silly woman.

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My third moment came when I probably seemed like I could care less yesterday but that wasn’t the case I was just tired and like mothers and people who are used to someone who requires a great deal of energy you only respond to the emergencies, LOL. SOOOO when he screamed in the kitchen instead of rushing in there I yelled in there and asked if he was ok like any sane person who put a capable adult or older person in charge of bacon and eggs in a kitchen would do, LMBO. I only asked him to get me a drink and he should have been done cooking but maybe a dish was still hot and he may have burned himself slightly. He responded back saying he was ok but was still yelping, so I yelled back do you need first aid. Again, I was dog tired, I had been up since 4am and running on 90 minutes of sleep from the night before and it was 9:30pm. He says manages a garbled no.

He comes hobbling minutes later into the room after I thought that perhaps he went and bought and cultivated the sugar cane fields in which he was making my drink. He tells me of how he went to open the freezer and piece of ice magically flies (and I’m thinking like superman) and spears him in the bed of his toenail (hitting him like kryptonite) and crippling him (seemingly forever) which is why he was in pain. I tell him he will be ok I was thinking he got burned I say. He says we thanks sarcastically. Then I say well be glad I cared if you were hurt, LOL. He says I am honest, and I knew he meant it but he tried to milk this ice knife injury for all it was worth sliding his foot down the hall like it was bleeding and would fall off if you looked at it. I’m telling you I was holding back my laughter so hard I was shedding real tears and gave myself a durn headache. I had to hold it back though because with my husband if I didn’t he would be in the first aid bin I have and wrapping his injury like it did bleed wasting my supplies coming out like a mummy looking oh so special. I swear I need to find a locking bin for my first aid supplies the way he goes through them because I have top grade things and a bin that is 2×3 feet because of the medical things I go through and do and have done over the years and he goes through it like it’s water. It is not cheap! This is not dress up, LOL. Men and their sickness and injuries!

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About Last Night Though…

Posted on by Lady CAS

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Have you ever been so tired AND sleepy (becasue the two are not the same thing) that you know you should not be allowed to operate heavy machinery and this includes things like the door, a fork, and especially your phone!

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My lord you would have thought I took some prescription pain pills last night the way I was giggling and carrying on. My husband was like I thought you kicked me out to go to bed but here you are still up and playing on your phone and then I give him a sheepish grin and he instantly whips out his phone to check snap chat to see if I did something stupid, LOL. Then when he is relieved there, he snatches my phone and starts reading because he knows I was talking about him and dies laughing because his suspicions were right and me and a friend were having a nonsense conversation about silliness that he and his brothers/ friends would probably engage in all based from a snap chat comment she made earlier in the day.

I mean we were both tired and the snap chat conversation sounded like  were both high on laughing gas and both trying to have intelligent conversation but failing horribly. My husband looked at the messages and was like REALLY you seriously envision me and friends doing these things eh? I said I don’t know why that would have popped in my head it just did, LOL. Would it have popped in my head if I wasn’t so sleepy (most of it no) but last night my sanity was stripped raw and the ‘in’ was peeking out. I have no words for it and I didn’t apologize because it was funny and no harm. Not to mention karma was my best friend as I only got 90 minutes of sleep after all that and had to get up at 4am. I was so tired but sleep just would not come.

Our conversations went from nip slips to horrible bosses 1 and the playground incident to kindergartners having 5 0′ clock shadows and deeper voices than most men and most everything in between. I have no idea how it all happened. Moreover, as my husband ran around trying to clean the house and wash his clothes he just kept shaking his head because I kept giggling and being silly. I am not sure if it was all as funny as I was making it out to be, if I needed the laugh, if I was that tired, or a combination of all the above, but last night was quite interesting, I hope I get more sleep tonight

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…Otherwise opening tomorrow (getting up at 4am) again is going to take a prayer that much like the one this morning:

Lord,

I thank you for waking this morning…(inner thought-though I could have used more sleep)

I am thankful for seeing another day and for you starting me on my way

But really…I need this body to get some act rite today! Cus being at work today looking like who dun it why so sleepy I can barely play it off is a shame!

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I’m nauseous and my eyes are swollen and head tryna hurt b/c I’m sleepy and tired!  (SIDE  SELF SHOUTING–Get yo life body! Cus I do not believe this is what God is sayin to you this morning!)

And if I trip ova, run into, or drop one MO THANG, we gone turn this thing around and call in sick! Cus we ain’t gon make it thru this day! I just don’t see it working out for me or these poor clients safey!

Cus you still workin on me and er um…

In your holy and righteous name (see can’t even pray right)

AMEN!

 

Chains and Whips Excite Me, But flyswatters Are EVIL

Posted on by Lady CAS

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A few months ago I was at my mom’s house and one of the funniest and weirdest moments ever happened. I was standing in the kitchen when my cell phone started ringing. My ring tone at the time was Rhianna’s S&M. The music was loud, my mom and dad who are now senior citizen, learned the song probably from my ringtone, were singing and humming it as reached for it dancing and singing.

I thought to myself how strange a scene it was probably for most people to have their parents not only hear such a song but to sing the song and laugh at it. My mom was like you are a pervert and laughed. My sister and brother who was just in the other room made a comment to the effect of she would (she meaning me). They have always been in awe of how I managed to bring my parents into more modern ways and ‘break’ down their barriers. But it’s not so much that as it is the same with all older parents and the youngest child(ren) the parents are tired. They give up/in they just say screw it and go with the flow. That child is going to be them and they are going to love them so why fight so hard knowing that they have older siblings to help guide them if they get too crazy, LOL. It’s true, my parents did an AMAZING job with them so any possible faults there may have been with me I know to look to them to get something right for myself, though my sister says she ain’t seen that day quite yet, LMBO. I told her it has happened at least once with each sibling and they just don’t know it but I do! They need only ask and I would reveal it.

Anyways, back to S&M! We are all dancing and humming about chains and whips exciting me and me liking it as some random caller rings me. THEN I glance to my left and see IT. The orangish/reddish/pinkish (it seemed to change color depending on my mood or perhaps the day) butterfly shaped fly swatter. It had butterfly shapes within it as well. It sent me into a slow motion daze which seemed to go on for like 15 minutes but in actuality probably only last 3 seconds.

In that time I thought about the my not so graceful and honest moments as a child and pre-teen. I may not have had many but you did not need many where that butterfly weapon was involved. It may not have been the same because it was not cracked in the middle of it’s spine when it was broken over my limbs that looked like they had been seizing like an electrified animation. But it was the same brand from the same store. My hives began to throb and I almost imagine they were the same butterfly shaped welts that would develop later to remind me liars deserved to be popped. It stung more than anything but you learned not be anywhere near the kitchen when you lied. If she had nothing at least you had to go to your room for her to cool off and maybe you would get grounded. But that stupid butterfly of doom. I mean you always thought butterflies were peaceful like rainbows and unicorns…but not me…I don’t go flitting about after butterflies.

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I literally flinch every time they come near me in parks and such and my husband laughs. I never realized it until the day with this ring tone. I will watch them from a distance and think pretty but I rather watch a bird. Butterflies are tricksy

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When time sped back up I shuddered and thought, sticks and stones make break my bones, but chains and whips excite me, but BUTTERFLY SHAPED FLYSWATTERS ARE EVIL!