Insomnia Strangeness

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So though having insomnia for me is pretty common there are some strange things that have been happen lately that make even harder to sleep. When you have MG this is not a good thing as sleep/ rest is about the only regular thing that can help restart your system aside from treatments.

As I try to drift off to sleep I usually feel pretty great. I have read my book and say ok that’s enough for the night and have to force my brain off. If I read a good book sometimes I find that I am still creating a story in my head as I fall asleep and that’s sort of fun. I blur the lines between reality and fantasy and that is ok as I am lying bed.

However, lately just as I have gotten comfortable I have my body has begun to fight me. First starts the dry rattling coughs that become hard mucus filled coughs that racking my entire body. Once they pass I am happy. I am only happy once they are effective. I am tired of this cold. I hate the dry cough and only want a productive cough. The funny part is that I mainly cough more at night at rest than during the day. And of course ore while lying or partially lying down than sitting up. So I have modified the way I sleep for this because it is tough and I need to be able to breath and sleep. I mean the worst part of2 nights I woke up with my lips so chapped from being a mouth breather (b/c I never am) that I had to find chapstick in the night to put on. I only use chapstick a handful of times a year. I literally had to search for it.

Second comes the itching of the hives the I swear I planned for ahead of time by taking the benadryl to both make me sleepy and ward of the itch. I take it well in advance while reading so that I can slowly fall into the rabbit hole, LOL. Then as I get so sleepy that the words stop making sense and I have to read a paragraph so many times just to comprehend it knowing it’s time to turn in I put it down. SO WHY, WHY do they begin to itch uncontrollably like I never took the durn pills not even an hour before and it’s not time for another dose yet. I even put anti-itch cream on.

Then after I slowly take my mind off this and try to think more on the the book I read or something else I because now my body just wants to be a nuisance, the cramps set in. My legs and upper back scream at me. They cramp and hold tight and won’t let go. My feet, my calves, and rhomboids, and traps are seizing up on me and I’m contorting in horrible ways to prevent an all out lock-up. I know it’s likely because of the new fluid pill and he told me it could be a side effect but from all the fluids I chug daily what the heck man.

I know I have to go back and be put on a potassium supplement now or I shall surely be mummified from these episodes. The neurologist already said the fluid pill dropped my potassium levels and this could happen but now I know and now I must do something about it. All the bananas, potatoes, and OJ in the world are not helping, lol. My husband will find me stuck in some odd pose unable to move forever barely able to speak soon if this is not rectified, lol.

When I finally do fall asleep I wake up every 4 hours only to take more meds for MG and the benadryl for the hives and cough meds for the cold. My husband has been sleeping in another room all this time and he checks in on me only to feel helpless. I can only imagine what is going through his head. He’s probably stuck between poor poor little girl and STAY BACK CATAGION 1 RED ALERT!

Silently IT Lurks…

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Everywhere I turns it’s there reminding me it has me in it’s grasps! Clawing at my skin leaving it red welts and vanishing before I anyone see IT. I tell people it has been there. They don’t believe me. They say what? I try to explain, but my memory seems to fail me. I begin to ramble like an blithering idiot.

It’s hard to tell people that STRESS is the culprit. That you are stressed about any and every THING. That little things bother you and big things alike. That the things you want most may not come to fruition but you cannot ask for help because it may mean that they will take pity ¬†or they will look down on those around you. Even more so, they may even tell you they cannot help! Then I think to myself…would I let them help if they offered? So you fight on and become more distressed. You know the things that would be a solution to the situation and though you are working toward them. they too seem to be out of your grasp.

So you sit in your crawling skin, with the red welts that grow each day. Developing more and more HIVES wondering when they will stop but knowing they will not until you can find the solution AND REACH IT. I am becoming quite exhausted now!

POUTING!

HIVE FIVE!

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OMG WHY!?! They always come at the worst times– as if there is ever a good time to have hives. I get them one at a time at first. Then they come in small clusters of 2-3 before I start to realize what they are and that they are not mosquito bites. At this point I am trying every meditation and relaxation method I know before they are full blown across my whole body.

More so, they are in the oddest places. I mean like right smack in the middle of my back (with my bra strap irritating it), on the tip of my elbow (so every time I rest my arm I feel it), or at the top of my gluteal crack (so I feel my undies rubbing it), LOL. And of course they are BRIGHT read unlike mosquito bites. They do not get larger or smaller they just are the brightest red they can be and they itch. And if I scratch them for more than a few seconds they start to hurt, unlike a mosquito bite which feels ‘better’ the more you scratch yet you are doing more damage.

Seriously, if I could avoid stress (negative that is) at all costs, then I would. But it finds me like a my dog finds an apple. You just have to trust me on this one, that little dog can hear/ smell you cut/ bite into an apple from 3 rooms away and comes prancing into the room excitedly for a piece because he knows with his big bright eyes there is no way ANY person can resist giving him a piece and thus far no one has.

Anyways, these hives are like attack of the killer bumps. They remind of having chicken pox. I feel like every time I turn over in my sleep one of the bumps get scratched and I want to scratch it even more but I know better yet it actually wakes me even more. I don’t put anything on it because usually they go away pretty quickly but I guess with an autoimmune disorder I am not quite use to how hives affect me now so I need to try a different tactic as they seem to hold on a bit longer now. I may need to start using cortisone ointment or aloe to help with the itching. Hopefully before I peel my skin away from my bones, LOL.