Someone Cried Foul

It seemed like everything I did or said went sour yesterday and it spilled right into today no matter how much I tried to prepare for today ahead of time. I tried to have things ready in advance for today since I get up before dawn on Wednesdays and this week I am house sitting further from my job.

I was not amused by the little invisible mischievous creatures wreaking havoc on my life yesterday and this morning. Making everything go haywire. It was like there were gremlins mucking up the hardware of my tech systems or something. Yesterday started with my parents trying to leave for their trip and I was uber sleepy because I went to bed late and then woke up early with them (I sleep really light). As I was getting dressed I kept staggering and swaying…Lack of nutrition (no appetite for 3 days, sick to my stomach).

Then I got up and went to work in traffic that I usually do not drive in and thought I was going to die. Not because it was traffic but because I had not been in that sort of traffic in so long that I almost forgot how to drive in it and felt like I was going to DIE. People kept trying to merge on me and then I almost cowered and lost it. Mentally I was not prepared for it.

I got to work and wanted to kiss the ground. I started working immediately head down. My boss sensed something was off but said nothing. I knew he sensed it because he kept asking if I was good. He kept assigning me stuff and I would knock it out in less than an hour and ask if he needed anything else, I was a machine! I just wanted to keep my mind off my durn stomach screaming at me and the black spots before my eyes.

I shot of a silly text, it was met with a mixed (seemingly frustrated reply). Hmmm. I texted BFF about how I physically felt (black spots, stomach, maybe I should go to the doc…) She nearly yelled at me. I was more talking out loud with no intention of going because I felt like if got more sleep my body would have handled this better (forget food, I was hydrated) I know, stupid! But I have been too stressed to eat and 1000 calories in 3 days was still sustaining somehow.

I went to the locker room and blacked out and scared the crap out of myself. I knew it was bad. So I came out, and told the staff what they need to know…I would go eat a banana, LOL. Not that I blacked out. I went and got a yogurt instead with fresh berries and granola 6oz. It was all I could stomach. This was 1:30p. It helped. Then at 8:30p I ate a chicken 60z of chicken salad wrapped in lettuce.

My doctor will not be happy that I lost 9lbs in a week today. Not this way. It was not intentional. They do not want me to swing drastically before surgeries. UGH. Due to not eating I’ve been extra moody and sensitive…We’ll call it HANGRY! Then when you are already dealing with other stressors in your life that I would rather not talk about but are pretty harassing yesterday I had no shining light and was fairly ignored. So I read my books, played with my dogs, and as usual entertained myself. Sadly it was the first time in a long time I can say I have had a really bad day!

Then this morning it was bad from the moment I woke up and look at my phone and realized I could hardly see it. My durn eyes were swollen from allergies, I forgot to take my allergy drops before bed last night. I could go on and on about all the small bad things that happened that I noticed but the good things are there and will continue

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YESTERDAY AND TODAY

I WILL HAVE A GOOD DAY…Because I never ALLOW 2 days in a row of BAD!

Hurry Up and Wait…

Welp. the doctor finally got back to me only to say that he wants me to try the fluid pill longer! He said it may take longer to work on me and to give it a few more weeks. He also to avoid salt. I don’t cook with salt and I already try hard not to eat a lot salt naturally but I will try even harder not to now just to see if that helps. I will do whatever it takes to see if things change. I seem not to be gaining anymore weight finally but I also do not appear to be losing any weight. However, I do not think me not gaining any weight has to do with the fluid pill as I saw the weight plateau about a week before I week before I went to the doctor.

I just hope this is not a sign of some other condition. I My skin; however, did clear up yesterday after some a trick that never worked before. I scrubbed with my sugar scrub and brushes in the shower and then lather with my body wash. Then I rinsed and put on baby oil gel and sealed it in with body cream. So far less skin peeling that normal. I’m thoroughly pleased. I use to try this before my skin condition and it never worked and then I tried just after it developed and it would not work. So I do not know if the fluid pill is helping that or my skin condition is getting better on my body because of that….It’s still pretty bad on my face where I cannot put baby oil gel and body cream…I still have to find a solution for that.

We will see!

MG and Thyroid Update

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It’s not my thyroid! So now they are scrambling to figure out what the problem is! Why is my skin going bananas, why is my weight going haywire. What is really going on all of a sudden. True our bodies change as we age and goes through cycles even, but to suddenly do it in a 2 week time frame (the weight) and then nothing goes back to normal what is up? The hair is also strange as well. I mean we are in a state of crazy right now. I mean it is not a state of emergency yet, but in my mind it is! I am not happy about the current state of events. So now I am waiting on a phone call for the step. Because I don’t know if you remember, but from the last update, they also gave me a fluid pill on Friday to start and now I have been on it for 5 days and have not lost any weight which they believed to be edema and mostly water weight. However, I do not feel any different and nothing has happened. So a new plan needs to occur. The nurse was shocked when I said I have not lost any weight yet yesterday when they gave me the results. SO…We wait for the doctor to call today and give me the next step.

MG and Thyroid Update

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So today I went to the doctor to get my thyroid tested. Last year at this time my thyroid was borderline overactive at 0.0306 or something like that. However, this year with everything I named with my super dry skin for over a year, hair issues, and severe weight gain they are checking this to see if the opposite is now true. He has also put me on a fluid pill though because I have a strange but slight edema which has just presented itself though my diet has not changed nor have my meds. So I pray that now I do not have a drastic weight loss as my body tends to do things immediately when I least expect it, LOL. Most women and people would be excited about these things, but when you have an illness or you buy clothes this is not always the case. This happened before my wedding too. I told them I would drop a lot of weight and they did not believe me and would NOT order the dress in the size I asked…I dropped 6 dress sizes before my wedding. 1 size happened the week before the wedding while the dress was in alterations when I wasn’t even working out. I was mortified. Luckily I had a corset dress and could tie it a bit tighter but I was not amused at the fact that it was tight in one area that made it look like I had strange back fat spilling over the top just to hold the durn dress up because it kept trying to fall off me during my wedding. Most people did not notice but I did! I think only after a few hours did this actually occur but I still was the one who noticed and did not want pictures of it.

Regardless, I have hope for the weight loss (which I know will come) but I a praying that I do not have to buy all new clothes AGAIN! That gets old really quick! I am not use to the yo yo weight loss thing. I am use to maintaining my weight well and have for about 2 years so I am fairly ticked right now! UGH! Even the dr. was stumped. He was like, ‘ you came in here 3 years ago almost 260 lbs and last years you were 224 and now you are almost 242″ (which when I weighed 2 weeks ago it was 246 by the other dr. office) and when I saw I you in July you were 231. I was like Yep! I was like the only reason I gained weight it because I was hospitalized and 3 times and then intubation which physically SCARRED me leaving me with tracheal stenosis (which I later had surgery to fix) causing me the inability to workout for 7 months and I still maintained did well with my weight only gain 7 lbs in 18.  So with that said I will add that now that I can workout why am I not losing weight…So yea the concern is real.

He is also checking my kidney function which is valid even though I know it has been checked several times in the last year thanks to my kidney stones but I will not stop him because any perspective is good when it comes to that since no one still knows why I had so many and back to back. Having to have surgery for those bad boys was not fun!

Moreover, he is also checking my electrolyte levels! He wants to be sure that everything is balanced. For me a creature of habit when it comes to some things (SOME) this is quite puzzling. So we must get to the bottom of things! I will keep you guys posted. The results should be in on Monday or Tuesday!

Addictive Personalities: Addictions GALORE!

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So yea I realized that I may have rehashed an old addiction that has gotten a bit out of control as of late. I have gone into the dark under belly of fantasy, mystery, and fiction. I have fallen back into borrowing from the library and buying books like a beast. I had originally started buying so many books that I started seeing my house budget looking a bit crazy and could not figure out why until I realized I was over spending on BOOKS! I was like omg what is going on? But I couldn’t help it I need ed the next book in my series. I love books that are a part of a series because I get invested in my characters and what will happen to them next. I love to see how they progress and change over time. But between the costs and no longer having room on my bookshelves and the growing stacks all over the house I had to finally say I have to try something else. So I got a new library card.

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I had one a before but I needed one updated one with my new married last name and new address. This has helped greatly! However, I still end up buying a few books here and there as I go online to hold books and have them sent to my library to pick up and the wait list is so long that I have to wait more than a week or two. This is unacceptable if the higher level of the series become available before the lower level. For example the first book is still on the wait list but books 2 and 3 become available. So then I find myself buying book 1 sometimes because I’m still like 15th on the wait list and it hasn’t moved in a week and they only give you 3-4 days to pick it up if you are holding it.

Considering I use to buy a whole series at a time costing between $25-60 easily and sometimes closer to $100 spending $7-10 is not as bad. The funny part is I even hold books on the library website in different formats just to see which comes available first and then release the other when I get one. They have them in ebook, regular book, or audio for some books (though not all books come in these formats).

I prefer a physical book but I will read it in ebook. I do not like audio book but if desperate enough I’m sure one day I will go there if it comes to it but it has not gotten to that point yet as I have not found one of my books in that format in the library that has not been on a serious wait list that ebook or book was not more available.

Sadly enough while buying book 1 of a book yesterday, (confession), I also saw another book I needed in my life. I bought a Crockpot cook book that had over 350 recipes and it was well worth it. It was bargain priced at under $13 and was on the bargain table having just been reduced. I was so excited and when I got home and showed my husband he was was actually excited about the purchase too so I felt like I won all the way around! He didn’t even notice my other book though it was only $10, lol. Moreover, he didn’t say anything about me buying my Halloween costume yesterday!

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Yet another addiction! I love Halloween! I bought my costume and almost bought it online and glad that I did not because I would have bought it too big based on my former size 2 years ago! I still have not gotten use to my slimmer self! I’m not sure that I ever will. Even though I have recently gained some back (which I have to go to the doc. about because they want to check my thyroid) I’m still slimmer and by 2-4 sizes in clothing. I never could wear some of the costumes in the store right off the rack and yesterday tried it on to see if I needed to order online and surprisingly it fit and may have been even a bit big but I will try it on again tonight at home with not clothing underneath to be sure since I only have one day to return it. I can’t wait to unveil my outfit! Pictures will be put up so no worries my lovelies!

Getting back in shape with MG

The trick to exercising with MG is to never get out of shape, lol. However, we all know that with this disorder we will have setbacks and moments that are just not going to allow us to workout or keep our regimen in place year round. These last few months with several surgeries, countless doctor appointments, and questionable medical issues that just received answers and solutions; I am just now getting back on track.

It sucks because I cannot always tell what is MG fatigue and what is exercise fatigue right now when it use to be so clear. Those limits are not there! I have always been one to press the limits anyway but I would rather play this one safe to actually reach my goal this year. I lost 30 lbs last year and only managed to gain 7 back in the last 7 months of not exercising. I figure that’s pretty good since I only saw the scale go up in the last 3 months. I am really good at maintaining my weight nutrition wise.

However, now it’s time to get back on it I still have another 30lbs to go. I want this for me. No one is pushing me. The doctors are not, my husband is not, this is just my goal. When I say pushing I mean forcing me. I prefer to be able to do it on my own without anyone nagging me. My husband never nagged me, he has always loved me for the size I am no matter what size I am but that may not always be helpful at times. But he is supportive of my goals, so that is helpful. The doctors are happy as long as I am healthy and have no further health issues. I figure this is how I prevent them. My knees and ankles do not like me again and that tells me I am not where I want to be or need to be. At one point the doctors use to nag me and I am glad I am in a range where they do not. So before they do I will get this train rolling!

I am health fitness specialist with a degree, license, and several certifications in the field and I know better than to allow my self to feel this way or look this way. I also refuse to allow myself try and control the things I cannot and I have to be ok with that as well which is the psychology degree I earned, lol. I mentally make a note of these uncontrollably things and workout to ensure I ebb these anxieties as well as make sure I pray over them in case there is a solution that I can control to fix them. Until then I will get back on this bike and go to work because I need to get this weight off.